Tainted Purity
by Tankyasue
Summary: Subaru discovers Seishirou's true identity before the end of the bet.
1. Chapter 1

Title: Tainted Purity  
Author: Tankyasue  
Warning: Shounen-ai. Lime in later chapters.  
Disclaimer: I don't own Tokyo Babylon, Clamp does.  
Summary: Subaru discovers who Seishirou really is before the end of the bet.

Chapter 1 - Who's That Boy?

It felt odd to find himself curled underneath his sheets when he had been certain that he'd been standing outside underneath a cherry blossom tree only a moment ago. 'It was only a dream... just like every other time,' Subaru thought to himself, wishing that he could only believe that the statement was true. Though the statement sounded logical to his mind, it didn't stop his heart from beating loudly in his ears nor could it stop him from believing that there was someone watching him from outside his window. For a moment, he thought that he could see a man staring at him through the glass, but it must have been his imagination.  
It wouldn't be possible for anyone to look into the window of his apartment. It was simply too high.

However, knowing this did not prevent Subaru from rising from his bed, and walking towards his window, his entire body trembling with every step.

Only when he finally got to his window did he realize that it had been left open, as if the person that he'd seen on the roof before had used it to enter his room that night.

'I'm just being paranoid,' Subaru scolded himself, absently scratching the back of his left hand. 'I must have opened that window myself yesterday, and forgot all about it before going to bed last night. Hokuto-chan always tells me how absent-minded I am, and anyway it does sound like something that I might do.'

Subaru closed the window hastily before walking over towards his dresser and taking a simple outfit from the bottom drawer. He knew it would only be exchanged with his sister's more flamboyant clothes the minute he went outside his bedroom door, but it would feel nice to be able to be able to dress normally, even for only a little while.

He wouldn't have minded wearing the outfits that Hokuto made for him as much if she didn't insist upon showing off her strange creations to Seishirou just so that the man would have an excuse to harass him with his strange sense of humour. It was hard for Subaru to have to deal with having another man tell him how beautiful he looked in his sister's strange clothes.

However, it was even worse when Seishirou would tell him things like: 'I love you,' and 'I want to marry you,' especially when the two of them were alone together.

He knew that he could not be serious about what he was saying since they were both men, but it still bothered him anyway. There was just something about the way that Seishirou looked at him whenever he said 'I love you,' that terrified him. Not that the man didn't unnerve him at the best of times anyway.

Perhaps it was because he clearly resembled the boy that he saw underneath the cherry blossom tree in his dreams every night, but that didn't mean that they were the same person. Seishirou was lively, and childish, and sweet-like the pastries that he was so fond of. Though he could be a little perverted at times, he was still very, very kind. It was obvious that he was harmless, and it was very silly for him to be afraid of him.

The boy that he dreamed about was the exact opposite of Seishirou. He was empty and cold to the point that it was difficult to believe that he was alive at all. He seemed more like a living doll than an actual human being.

Though this disturbed Subaru, he still found himself drawn to the boy each night. He knew that the boy was dangerous, and he was terrified of him, but he still didn't want to leave the boy all alone because he knew that he was lonely.

Besides, it wasn't as if he disliked the boy. At times, he even thought that he could become fond of him if he could ever see the person hidden underneath that cold, doll-like exterior.

Subaru shivered as he removing his shirt, and looked out the window. He was certain that he would see a man watching him from the rooftop of the building next to his, but all he saw was a bird. The bird flew away before he could get a good look at it, but he continued staring out the window for a long time anyway, afraid that he had missed something.

'I really am an idiot,' Subaru thought as he pulled a simple turtleneck over his head. 'I'm always getting paranoid over nothing... I really wish that I'd stop having these dreams.'

hr

Subaru sat next to his sister because he usually felt safest with her close to him, but that morning he could still feel Seishirou staring at him from his seat directly across from his. He hadn't wanted to have breakfast at Seishirou's apartment after what had happened that night, but there was no way that he could have convinced Hokuto that he'd just wanted to stay home for the day.

He supposed that it was natural for him to feel awkward sitting so close to someone that he regarded as little more than a stranger, but there was something about the way that Seishirou was looking at him that deeply unnerved him.

"Breathtaking," the veterinarian murmured with a decidedly unpleasant expression. Though the remark was meant to answer Hokuto's question regarding her latest creation, it seemed to be directed towards him.

"Are you talking about the outfit or my brother?" Hokuto remarked glancing at Subaru, causing his face to turn bright red.

"Both. I find all of your outfits refreshingly original, however Subaru-kun would look wonderful in anything, or even nothing at all! It's a shame that I don't get to see him more often, but considering the nature of his occupation I suppose it can't be helped."

"Well, it's not like there's anything preventing you from taking Subaru out today at least," Hokuto began slyly.

"Hokuto-chan, why are you-" Subaru whispered to his sister, but she ignored him entirely.

"I don't think that Subaru has any work to do today at all, so why don't the two of you spend the entire day together!"

"Actually, that isn't-"

"Perfect! We can all go to Ueno Park!" Seishirou cried out, displaying far too much enthusiasm for a man of twenty-five. "I'll pack a lunch for the three of us."

"You two go have fun," Hokuto replied pushing herself away from the table.

"But Hokuto-chan," Seishirou whined, "It's important for me to spend time with my wonderful sister-and-law as well! It'll be fun to have a picnic with all three of us."

"No. You two never get to spend enough time alone with each other, and besides... I'd just be a third wheel."

"That isn't true, we both enjoy your company very much, don't we Subaru-kun?"

"Eh?"

"Anyway, I have a date in less than an hour, and I really need to get ready!" Hokuto said hurriedly before sprinting towards the kitchen door. "Be sure to take care of Subaru for me!"

"B-But, you never told me anything about that!" Subaru exclaimed helplessly as he watched his sister leave.

"Well, I suppose that the two of us can have fun on our own, can't we, Subaru-kun?" Seishirou said, smiling innocently as he placed a hand on his shoulder.

Subaru looked down at his gloved hands. He really didn't want to spend the day with Seishirou, but it would be rude to tell him that, wouldn't it?

XXXXX

Though Subaru hadn't wanted to go to Ueno Park before, he found that he was actually enjoying himself now that he was there. The cherry blossom trees were very pretty even though they were only in half bloom. They were not nearly as beautiful as the cherry blossom tree that he saw in his dreams, but they didn't scare him either, and looking at them eased his mind a little.

"Do you like cherry blossom trees, Subaru-kun?" Seishirou asked suddenly, startling him.

"Y-Yes," Subaru replied hesitantly, looking away from the older man.

iThe boy in his dream... he'd said that too, hadn't he?/i

Subaru began walking more quickly, hoping to put a little more space between him and Seishirou, but the man could keep up with him easily. He might have kept going anyway, if only to keep his mind off of less pleasant things, but then he noticed a cherry blossom tree that stood out from all the rest. This tree was unseasonably in bloom, just like the cherry blossom tree in his dream had been.

iI wonder where that cherry blossom tree was... surely this can't be it,/i Subaru thought as he approached the tree slowly, until he was close enough to touch its trunk with gloved finger tips.

"Everywhere else, the cherry blossom trees are still in half bloom. Why is this tree in full bloom?" Subaru asked himself aloud, momentarily forgetting that the other man was present.

iI wonder how that boy knew that there was a corpse buried underneath that cherry blossom tree? Who was he?/i

"Is something the matter, Subaru-kun?" Seishirou asked suddenly, placing a hand upon his shoulder. Subaru thought that the gesture was intended to comfort him, but it only made him feel even more nervous about being so close to the older man.

"This tree is already in full bloom. Don't you think that it's strange since all the other trees are still in half bloom?"

"I think you know why," Seishirou said, taking off his glasses. "You know about the corpse buried underneath this cherry blossom tree, don't you?"

"W-What?"

iIt can't be Seishirou-san! It just can't be!"/i

"Subaru-kun, are you alright? You look frightened," Seishirou asked, sounding concerned.

iJust when had he put his glasses back on?/i

"I-I'm fine really," Subaru answered, backing away slightly. "I justreallyneedtogetsomewater rightnowbye!"

Without giving the other man a chance to say another word, Subaru dashed away from Seishirou and the cherry blossom trees without looking back.

hr

Subaru looked behind him once he'd finally stopped running. He almost expected to find Seishirou standing behind him, and was strangely disappointed to find that no one was there.

'Why did I run away from Seishirou-san like that?' Subaru chided himself miserably. 'Seishirou-san is probably really upset with me now, and Hokuto-chan will be even more upset once she hears about this from him.'

Subaru knew that the only thing he could do was go back and apologize to Seishirou for being so rude, but what would he say if the man demanded an explanation for his actions?

Truthfully, he didn't even want to be near Seishirou after what had happened. If he knew about the corpse underneath the cherry blossom tree then could he be-

"Think it's frightened?" Subaru heard a boy ask from somewhere in the distance.

"W-What if someone sees us?" another voice replied. "I-I think I see someone over there."

"Relax moron. No one cares about what we doing. It's just a stray."

Subaru looked up and turned his head in the direction the that voices had come from to find two young boy's standing a few feet away from him. When he got a bit closer to them, he realized that the boys were crouched over a tiny, whimpering ball of fur.

"B-But why should we hurt it if it doesn't matter? Couldn't we just leave it alone?" the more timid of the two boys's asked. It was easy to see that he was about to cry.

"I wanted to see what it would be like to watch it die," the second boy replied cruelly, preparing to strike the animal again.

"Hey!" Subaru cried out as he dashed towards the boys. Both of them turned away from the puppy abruptly to look at him. The meeker of the two boys appeared terrified to be caught doing something wrong, while the other boy only glared at him.

"What the fuck do you want?" the cruel boy asked sardonically. The timid boy tried to run away, but the cruel boy grabbed him by the arm.

"Please leave that animal alone. You're hurting him," Subaru asked calmly, his tone barely masking the rage that he felt towards the boy.

"Why the fuck do you think that I care?" the cruel boy replied, still holding onto the other boy tightly. Smirking, he kicked the animal with his foot, causing it to whimper. "It's not like a fagot like you can do anything about it anyway."

"Would you like it if someone hurt you in the same way you've been hurting that animal?"

"Why can't you mind your own fucking business?"

"I'm not going to let you hurt that animal any more than you already have. Please leave it alone."

"FUCK YOU!" the boy cried out. He released the other boy's arm, before lunging at Subaru. He attempted to strike him with a jagged piece of glass that he'd kept hidden in his pocket before.

Subaru grabbed the boy's wrist tightly, causing him to drop the glass. The boy flailed about uselessly in his grasp, but it was impossible for him to get free.

"L-let me go! You're hurting me!"

"Only if you promise to leave that animal alone."

"F-Fine. I'll let it go. Just please let go of me!"

Subaru released his hold on the boy's wrist. The boy looked confused for a moment, then he ran away. The more timid boy had already left long before.

Subaru crouched down before the animal, hoping that it hadn't been too badly hurt. Now that he was close enough to see it properly, he could tell that the animal was a puppy, and luckily it wasn't hurt as badly as he'd feared. There were many cuts along his side, but none of them were very deep. He also had a sprained paw, but he doubted that the boy's had caused this.

Tentatively, Subaru reached out and gently began stroking the puppy's black fur. Though his body was caked with blood and dirt, Subaru wasn't afraid to touch him.

After a few minutes, the puppy hesitantly opened his eyes, and began to lick his fingers. Subaru laughed softly, but the worry hadn't faded from his eyes.

"So this is where you went to!" Seishirou exclaimed, coming up from behind him. "I've been looking for you everywhere!"

"Oh! Um-Seishirou-san!" Subaru cried out, knowing that his face must have become bright red. "I'm really sorry for running away from you like that. I should have-"

"Don't apologizing," Seishirou interrupted, peering at the bundle of fur beside him. "What have you got there?"

"Erm... it's a puppy. H-he's hurt and I was wondering if you could, w-well if it wasn't too much trouble…"

"Of course I can help the puppy for you, Subaru-kun, but first I want to get something in your stomach. It's too late for us to eat out here now, so I'll take you to my apartment for dinner."

hr

"Erm... G-Goodbye Seishirou-san," Subaru said, bowing much lower than necessary. "Thank you... for spending time with me today-even if I have been a nuisance, and thank you for taking care of the puppy for me. Please make sure that he finds a good home once he gets better."

"Don't worry, Subaru-kun! This puppy's going to be just fine!" Seishirou exclaimed cheerfully. "And don't fret over what happened today. I could never become angry with the man I love. I just wish that you didn't hate me so much that you felt that you needed to run away from me."

"I don't hate you, Seishirou-san..."

"I'm so glad! Maybe we can go on another date some other time then?"

"A date!?"

"It's rather late, perhaps you should get going before Hokuto-chan gets worried."

"Y-you're right... G-goodbye Seishirou-san, and thank you for everything!"

With that Subaru dashed away, leaving him alone with the puppy in his arms.

"He certainly is adorable, don't you think?" Seishirou said fondly, scratching the puppy behind his ears.

The puppy leaned into his touch, closing his eyes in pleasure. In many ways, the puppy was a lot like Subaru-kun, totally innocent and oblivious to the danger right in front of him. The puppy even looked a bit like Subaru-kun with its black fur and yellow-green eyes.

He only wished that Subaru-kun trusted him a bit more. Then maybe he could 'pet' him like the puppy.

Dinner with Subaru-kun had been rather bland. It had been very difficult to get the boy to say anything at all, and he'd barely picked at his food. If he hadn't made a remark regarding his own lack of culinary skills, he doubted that Subaru-kun would have eaten anything at all.

"Little Subaru-kun is going to have to try harder to maintain my interest. Otherwise, I might get bored with him, and kill him before the end of the bet," Seishirou whispered softly into the puppy's ear, stroking his fur gently. The puppy yawned contently in his arms, oblivious to what he had just said.

"You know, you're a lot like Subaru-kun. Both of you think that I'm 'kind' and 'gentle'. You don't even realize what kind of danger you're in."

Seishirou placed the puppy down on the floor suddenly. The puppy looked up at him and whimpered.

"I'll let you live for now... for as long as you amuse me, but if I ever get tired of you... if I ever have a reason to kill you, I won't hesitate to do so."

"When our bet ends, I won't hesitate to kill little Subaru-kun either."


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2 - Dejavu

For a moment, Subaru thought that he remembered lying down and closing his eyes, but this was forgotten the moment that he saw Seishirou standing before him.

There was something different about him aside from his missing glasses, and the white bandages wrapped around his head. At first glance, he wasn't entirely sure what it was, but then he noticed that Seishirou had combed his bangs over his face, partially concealing his eyes, which made him resemble the boy from his dreams even more than he normally did.

This could have been the reason why his heart was beating so fast, but Subaru had a feeling that there was something else as well... perhaps a change in Seishirou's disposition?

Subaru thought that he saw a cherry blossom tree-just like the one from his dreams-materialize behind Seishirou, but that just wasn't possible. It must have always been there, he just hadn't noticed it before.

"The boy that you dream about, do you know who he was?" Seishirou asked him suddenly. He lifted his head to look at him directly, allowing him to see his entire face for the first time.

Before Subaru had a chance to reply, Seishirou answered, "It's me."

'But, that can't be possible! You can't be-' Subaru thought, as he watched Seishirou's face become progressively less angular, until it became the face of a boy not much older than himself. His body had become somewhat shorter and smaller as well-though still so much larger than his own-and he was now dressed in a generic, grey uniform from a school that he couldn't name.

The boy from his dreams was standing right in front of him.

Suddenly, a child in white robes ran towards the tree, panting loudly. Subaru instantly recognized the child as himself. The boy from his dreams had vanished just as rapidly as the child had appeared, leaving him alone.

Though Subaru called out to the child again and again, it was obvious that he couldn't hear him. He was ensnared by the tree in front of them. The child could sense the evil from the tree as well as he could, but that was what had drawn him towards it in the first place. The child wanted to remove the evil from the tree, so that it could be pure once again.

Subaru watched as his younger self performed a spell to remove the evil from the tree, somehow knowing that it was futile.

The child figured this out as well, after he watched his spell fail. Tears began to form in the child's eyes, but they stopped suddenly, when the child felt something land upon his outstretched palms.

"Rain? But it's red?" The child exclaimed aloud, assuming that no one was near. He looked upwards, expecting to see dark clouds forming above the cherry blossom tree. Instead, he found a boy sitting in the tree's branches, holding a corpse in his arms.

He knew that he should run, but something held him in place when the boy's eyes met his. The boy let the corpse fall to the ground, before he jumped in front of the child, startling him.

'His arm… it had been sticking through that girl's body!' The child thought with horror before the boy cast a spell on him, causing him to collapse in his arms.

There was something about the way that the boy held him that made Subaru's stomach turn. He wanted to look away... he wanted to leave, but he couldn't move at all, not even enough to turn his head or close his eyes.

When the child awakened, he had forgotten everything that had happened. He assumed that he had fainted, and thanked the boy for taking care of him while he was unconscious.

The boy seemed surprised by the child's behaviour, but his surprise went unnoticed by the child.

The child turned suddenly to look at the cherry blossoms.

"The cherry blossoms are beautiful," he said aloud, smiling in delight. He could not see the body of the girl that lay at the base of the tree.

"You like cherry blossoms, do you?"

"Yes."

"But don't you that there's a corpse buried underneath this tree."

"A corpse?"

"Yes, the reason that this tree blooms so beautifully ever year is because of the corpse. You see the cherry blooms on this tree were once white, like snow. Do you know what made them turn pale red?"

The child shook his head, oblivious.

"Because the tree drinks the blood from the corpse underneath."

"But, doesn't that hurt the person buried underneath the tree?" The child asked innocently, tears forming in his eyes again.

"I'll make a bet with you," The boy whispered, crouching down to look at the child directly. "If you and I should ever meet again..."

_The wind's going to pick up again, isn't it? I'm sorry that I couldn't hear what you said. _

But this time the wind never came.

"…Let us live together for one year. You are kind, honest, and pure. I'm sure that as you grow up, your heart will remain pure. So if we ever meet again I will try my hardest to love you. Just for one year. And if after that year I consider you 'special' you will have won, and I will not kill you. But if I decide that I cannot consider you special to me, if I cannot distinguish the difference between you and that corpse, then I will kill you. And so today, I will let you go."

"But so that I may recognize you when we meet again I will carve a symbol onto you to show that you are prey of the Sakurazukamori," the boy whispered, using a spell to carve pentagrams into the skin on backs of his hands.

Subaru cried out in pain.

_Those marks… those marks are on the backs of my hands._

When the pain finally vanished, Subaru saw that the present Seishirou was now standing in front of him.

"That's why your grandmother has made you wear these gloves all these years," Seishirou whispered gently, taking his gloved hand within his own. "She did it to protect you from me. You didn't know that I was the Sakurazukamori, did you? You should have been more careful. I'm sure that your grandmother would have warned you about me. She tried so hard to protect you, but when I saw you that day at the station, chasing after that shikigami, I recognized you instantly. Even through gloves enchanted by the power of the Sumeragi master, I knew."

Then Seishirou cast an unfamiliar spell that broke through his gloves, leaving him naked.

"So it seems that my powers are greater than your grandmother's. But I wonder how they compare to yours? Our bet is now over."

"Seishirou-san," Subaru murmured, crying without completely understanding why.

"I really did try to love you, Subaru-kun, but I can't feel anything. When I kill, I feel absolutely nothing. For the longest time now, I haven't been able to distinguish between things and people. For instance, to break your arm…" Seishirou said cheerily as he crushed his arm with bare hands. "… It's no different than breaking a glass cup. There is no difference. Seeing you suffer like this, I feel nothing."

"Seishirou-san..." Subaru whimpered bitterly.

"Why do you look so sad?" Seishirou asked, smiling. "Are you really so hurt that I've betrayed you? Things like this happen every day in Tokyo."

"Sei-Seishirou-s-san…"

"Subaru-kun, I don't hate you, but I don't love you either. You're just an object to me. Being near you hasn't changed me at all."

* * *

Subaru awoke, shaking. 'It was only a dream, just a silly dream,' he told himself again and again, without believing it.

Faintly, he heard a voice cry out, "Shouldn't you be making more progress than this Sei-chan, as a man?" from the kitchen, and immediately knew that 'he' must be here.

"I don't want… I don't think I could stand it if… if I had to see him again," he whispered to himself, crying bitterly.

"B-But, it was only a silly dream. I can't be rude. I was only a dream. Besides, Hokuto-chan will come and get me if I don't leave on my own."

With that, Subaru got out of bed, dressed hurriedly, and left his room. For once, he didn't concern himself with fears that Hokuto-chan would scold him for the lack of effort he put into his appearance.

* * *

"This really is delicious, Hokuto-chan," Seishirou beamed after finishing yet another mouthful of food. "It's a shame Subaru-kun is missing this. Where is he anyway?"

"Subaru's still in bed. He worked really late last night, so now he's completely worn out," Hokuto answered. She served herself a second helping of food before she seated herself beside Seishirou.

"I haven't been able to see him since we visited Ueno Park two weeks ago. Subaru-kun really is dedicated to his work."

"Tell me about it! I'm just glad that he doesn't have anything planned today," Hokuto winked impishly before she continued, "Why don't you take him out on a date when he wakes up."

"It would be my pleasure!" Seishirou replied a little too enthusiastically. "But what if Subaru-kun isn't up to it? He might be too tired."

"Nonsense, it would be good for Subaru to get out and do something other than work! Shouldn't you be making more progress than this Sei-chan, as a man?"

Hokuto exclaimed shrilly, standing from her chair as if to further prove her point.

Before Seishirou could answer her question Subaru entered the room, causing both parties to instantly become silent. It was difficult for them not to notice his simple, rumpled clothing, or his puffy, red eyes.

"Subaru, I'm sorry for being so loud. I woke you up, didn't I?" Hokuto asked apologetically.

"No, I was already awake. I just didn't feel like getting out of bed," he replied, taking a seat across from his sister. He refused to look at the man sitting in front of him. He wouldn't have been able to bear that. But, he could still feel cold golden eyes watching him through innocuous, black frames.

"Would you like some-" Hokuto began, placing something in front of him. It smelled delicious, but the thought of eating made him ill.

"Please don't try to make me eat anything, Hokuto-chan. I'm not hungry right now."

"Subaru-kun, you aren't feeling sick, are you? You don't look well," Seishirou's asked gently. Though he sounded genuinely concerned, Subaru couldn't help but feel that this person really didn't give a damn about his health.

"I'm fine," Subaru whispered without looking at the other man.

"Really?" He sounded forceful this time.

Subaru began to sweat.

"Yes."

"Well in that case," Hokuto cried out suddenly. "I'm going shopping! I can't just stay home all day on a Saturday!"

"B-but-"

"That sounds like an excellent idea, Hokuto-chan! I hope you enjoy yourself," Seishirou cut in before Subaru could answer.

"Oh don't worry, I will!" She answered, before heading out the door and slamming it loudly behind her.

"So, what should we do together?" Seishirou said turning to face him. Subaru cringed and tried to turn away, but Seishirou forced him to look at him.

"A-actually…"

"Yes, Subaru-kun," Seishirou murmured. He moved closer towards him, until his face was barely an inch away from his own.

"Ican'tdoanythingtoday!"

"You shouldn't speak so quickly if you want me to understand what you're trying to say. Could you repeat that, please?"

Subaru took a deep breath.

"I can't do anything with you today. I have a job. Rightnowbye," Quickly, Subaru dashed out of the room, slamming the door behind him even more loudly than his sister had earlier.

* * *

'Why did I do that?' Subaru asked himself mentally for the third time. Once again, he couldn't think of an answer. It had been stupid of him to allow himself to be frightened by a mere dream, and it certainly hadn't given him the right to lie. Seishirou had done nothing wrong… had he?

His grandmother had always told him that because he was an onmyoji and because he had high levels of spiritual power, his dreams were very significant. He shouldn't simply ignore them, but he couldn't believe that Seishirou was really the Sakurazukamori just because of a dream either. If the dream was true…

There was only one-way to be sure, he had to go to Ueno Park. Perhaps he would find the cherry blossom tree there. He remembered being drawn towards that place on that day when he was only nine, and he did recall seeing a cherry blossom tree that had been unusually out of bloom when he'd last visited Ueno Park.

* * *

Tourists flocked around the cherry blossom trees in Ueno Park. Though Subaru didn't bother to look at them, he could hear their animated chatter, and see the flashes of their cameras out of the corner of his eye.

"The cherry blossoms are so beautiful this time of year," he heard a little girl exclaim from somewhere far away.

At one time, he would have agreed with her, but now the cheery blossoms were ugly. The light-pink shade of their blossoms reminded him of the blood that had spilled from the little girl's corpse. The only reason why it was so much lighter was because it had faded with time. However, it was the fragrance of the cherry blossom trees that really bothered him, if only because their odour was intoxicating to the point of revulsion.

Still, he wasn't going to leave Ueno Park until he found that tree.

'It shouldn't take me this long to find it. It had been so easy to find before,' he thought to himself as he stared hopelessly at the cherry blossom trees around him.

All of them were still in half bloom.

'Perhaps, I'd just imagined it before. Maybe it had never even happened. I'm letting myself get paranoid over a silly dream.

'But then again... there's still a chance that it's here. Maybe I just can't find it because it's hidden beneath an illusion... just like the Sakurazukamori. The Seishirou-san that I thought I knew... at least a little... perhaps I really don't know him at all... How could he know about the corpse buried underneath the cherry blossom tree, unless he...

'I-I can't be certain, but maybe if I look again-more carefully this time-I'll find the cherry blossom tree from my dreams...'

Subaru carefully examined the cherry blossom trees in Ueno Park again, hoping to find one that stood out from amongst the rest, even a tiny bit. If he could find one that had a negative chi, then it might be the one...

Unfortunately, every cherry blossom tree appeared almost identical to every other. There was nothing about any tree that made it seem 'different' from the rest.

The people around him seemed so happy. It was difficult to believe that anything bad ever could have happened here, especially something as terrible as the murder of a child, but when he closed his eyes and focused he could sense some negative energy. It wasn't coming from any of the trees, but from a lone person sitting on a bench a fair distance away.

When Subaru got closer to the person, he realized that it was a boy around his age. Though he couldn't see the person's face, it was easy to tell from his posture that he was unhappy. There had to be something that he could do to help him.

"Um... hello," Subaru said uneasily, blushing slightly when the boy looked up at him. "I was wondering if-"

"Why are you talking to me?" the boy asked in monotone. Before Subaru could answer, the boy lowered his face to look at the ground again, as if he expected him to just leave him alone again.

" Erm... well, it's just you look so sad, and I wanted to help-"

"Then go away and stop bothering me!" the boy cried out harshly, causing Subaru to flinch. The boy was so small and thin, perhaps even moreso than himself, but there was so much hatred in his voice. And, there was something else about the boy that scared him as well-perhaps a strangeness in his disposition-but still he wasn't going to leave him alone.

"I won't leave until you tell me why you're so sad!"

"Really?" the boy asked, looking up at him once again. He stared at him for a long time, before he said finally, "You're a strange person. I don't think that I've ever met anyone like you."

Subaru flinched at the boy's remark, but remained silent and waited for him to continue.

"But, if you're really want to know about what happened, I guess that it can't hurt to tell you. I don't think that anything can ever hurt me again..."

The boy stood up suddenly and walked towards him. Subaru noticed that he had a limp, but decided not to comment on it.

"Everyone here seems so happy, don't they? It's hard to believe that anything horrible could happen to anyone here..." the boy exclaimed in a parody of a cheery tone. Then he started laughing, but his laughter sounded so empty that he might as well have been crying.

"What happened to you?" Subaru asked softly. The boy stopped laughing abruptly.

"I was beaten here by a group of people from my school. Most of them were barely acquaintances. I didn't even know any of their names, and yet somehow they knew everything about me.

"Since then, I've been stuck here for some reason... no one's ever spoken to me..."

"It's because you died... I'm sorry. The people that beat you must have been the ones that killed you."

"You know, that actually makes a lot of sense..." the boy whispered to himself with an eerily calm expression. "Why didn't I figure it out before?"

"B-But why did these people?-"

"It must have been because of my 'relationship' with Takashi-sensei. A lot of people don't like that sort of thing."

"W-What are you talking about exactly?"

"Takashi-sensei was my teacher, and a man. I-I'm not sure if you could even call us lovers, but we'd had sex on multiple occasions."

"What?! Why did you... I mean... with a man?"

"I'm not sure myself. Before I met Takashi-sensei, I'd never been sexually attracted to anyone, male or female. I don't think that I even wanted him that way either. I think... I was fond of him because he was the first person who seemed to understand me, and I trusted him. That's why I let him on the first time, and after that it was just kind of expected. I wasn't allowed to say 'no' to him anymore.

"I don't care if you think that makes me a faggot or whatever, but if you're going to give me crap about it, I suggest you just leave because I'm not going to take shit from anyone anymore. Still, I can't help but think it's ironic... those bastards said that they hated me for having sex with a man, yet they raped me before killing me, so how does that make them any better? But, I guess you just think that I deserved it."

"Of course not! No one deserves that sort of thing!"

"You really are a strange person... don't you hold any animosity towards me at all?" the boy asked, looking at him strangely. He stepped closer to him, so their faces were barely an inch apart. Subaru would have stepped back, but then the boy reached out and grasped his chin with his hand.

"Erm... W-Well... I suppose you didn't really do anything wrong... thought it does seem abnormal... I don't hate you," Subaru murmured softly. His cheeks had become very warm.

"That's good, I think," the boy answered, moving even closer to him. For a moment, Subaru thought that he would have kissed him, but he only stared into his eyes.

"Um... I-It must have been lonely, being here all alone for so long..."

The boy chuckled softly and backed away.

"I think I needed time alone, to look back on my life. At first, blamed myself, but now I realize that it wasn't my fault. Those idiots who killed me are the ones I blame."

"What about Takeshi-sensei?" Subaru asked softly. He wasn't sure why he asked the question, but he couldn't understand why anyone would willingly get into such a relationship.

Subaru had thought that the boy would get angry at him for asking such a personal question, but he only smiled. It might have been intended to be a happy smile, but it was tainted with insanity.

"I don't think that I could ever hate Takeshi-sensei for anything. He never did anything wrong... if I'd really hated it, I would have told him to stop."

"Would you like to leave this place? I can send you on, so that you'll have a chance to live a better life. I-I'm an onmyoji, so I can help you... that's why I can see you when no one else can."

"Thank you, but I think that I'd like to have more time here, so I can think about things a little more," the boy said softly. He moved closer towards him again and grasped his hand within his own.

_This boy's been alone for so long... he must be very lonely._

"A-Alright, but if you ever want me to send you on..."

"I'll call you, but I think that once I figure this all out for myself, I'll be able to move on by myself anyway. By the way, my name's Kudo Aki. Feel free to visit me anytime. I'd like to talk to you again."

"I'm Sumeragi Subaru. I-I'd like to see you again too," Subaru replied, bowing low.

Suddenly, Kudo began laughing. This time, his laughter sounded genuine.

"W-What?"

"It's just... you're just so cute!"

"Eh!"

"I really would like to see you again, you know."

"O-Okay. I'll be sure to visit you again"

* * *

Subaru walked slowly in the direction of Seishirou's clinic with his head lowered so that the brim of his hat covered most of his face. He placed his hands in his pockets rather than leaving them at his sides, as he normally did. As he kicked an empty pop can aside, he thought, 'I've never noticed how filthy Tokyo was until today.'

Something had bothered him about Kudo's story. At first, he'd assumed that it was the concept of two men being so intimate with each other that had been so unnerving, but now he realized that there was something else as well. Even from the little that Kudo had told him about Takashi, he could grasp that the man hadn't been the best of lovers, and yet Kudo loved and trusted him completely because at one time he had been kind to him.

If Seishirou really was the Sakurazukamori would he be able to hate him, or would he continue to care for him knowing that he'd killed countless people with the same hands he'd used to comfort him?

No. It was stupid for him to doubt Seishirou because of a silly dream. It was true that some people may not be as kind as they appeared to be, but Seishirou wasn't like that. He was a good person. Subaru wasn't sure what he was going to say to Seishirou when he arrived at his apartment, but he would apologize for behaving so rudely before. It had been unkind to lie to him. Seishirou wasn't the Sakurazukamori. Seishirou wasn't the Sakura-

Subaru stopped walking. He could sense spiritual energy coming from somewhere. It was strong, but it seemed to be fading rapidly. It was coming from an alley.

He stepped into the alley, cautiously at first, but then he began to move faster. He didn't stop until he found the source lying amongst a pile of garbage bags, its stench only barely traceable amongst the rotting food.

Even with just a glance, he knew that it was the same puppy he had found in Ueno Park. It had the same ebony fur, the same eyes yellow-green, and the sprained paw, but now there was a large hole through its stomach. Subaru could feel spiritual energy radiating from the wound. It had clearly been used to rebound a spell. The puppy had been in Seishirou's care.

Seishirou could use magic. He'd seen him use it before. He'd found it a bit suspicious even then, but he'd never questioned it.

Subaru fell to his knees and brought the puppy up against his chest. He began crying violently, but he couldn't hear himself screaming or feel the tears streaming down his face. He couldn't lie to himself anymore. Seishirou was the Sakurazukamori.

A/N

Ruth: Sorry that it took me so long to update the rest of the story. :P Yes, I do plan on finishing the story this time, though it will take awhile. I've been very busy lately. T_T


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3 - Nobody Beats Me in the Nightclub

Subaru often felt lost amongst the massive sea of people that continuously flooded the streets of Tokyo, but at that moment he had nearly forgotten that they were even there. The puppy that he'd found amongst the trash was the only thing that he could think about. If he hadn't given him to Seishirou, maybe he would still be alive.

During the last time that he'd last visited Seishirou's apartment, on the day he'd found the puppy, he had seemed so kind and gentle. He had handled the puppy so delicately, so lovingly; it was difficult to imagine those same hands ripping through its tiny chest.

_Subaru-kun, you don't have to worry about this little fellow anymore. I promise you that I will take extra special care of him. Once his paw has healed, I'll find an owner for him._

Clearly that had been a lie.

But, that hadn't been the only time that Seishirou had lied to him. He'd lied to him about everything he was, everything he did, and everything he said that he felt.

Seishirou only pretended to care about the animals in his clinic. That puppy wouldn't have been the first animal that he killed. He probably killed many other animals as well. And, if he was the Sakurazukamori, he had killed people as well... and he hadn't even felt anything at all when he'd killed them. Nothing at all.

Why had he allowed such a person to get so close to him and his sister? Not only was it a disgrace to the Sumeragi clan, but he was placing his sister in danger as well. How could he have not noticed the signs? Everything had been so obvious! What kind of veterinarian could use spells or even knew anything about onmyodo? Even his last name had been suspicious. Sakurazuka. Sakurazukamori. How could he have not noticed it before?

_I am such an idiot!_

Subaru was glad that people cared so little about others in Tokyo. If he'd been anywhere else in the world someone might have stopped to ask him why he was crying, or at least he would have gotten a few sympathetic stares, but here no one even glanced at him. He knew that it was stupid for him to cry. Tears wouldn't make things return to the way they used to be, or give the puppy back its life, but running wouldn't help either. No matter how much he wanted to get away, he would have to go back eventually. Seishirou would always be able to find him no matter where he tried to hide.

For the first time, Subaru took in his surroundings. He had expected to find himself standing on an unfamiliar street, but he was only a block from his apartment.

His watch indicated that it was nearly eleven o'clock. He didn't want to cause Hokuto to worry about him any more than he already had.

Subaru sprinted in the direction of his apartment; his lean frame easily weaved through the masses of people around him. Men and women in flashy, revealing clothes were slowly replacing the high school students and businessmen that had been so numerous before. He tried to his best to ignore a group of unruly-looking teenagers that yelled at him as he ran by, but he couldn't prevent himself from glancing back at them just to be certain that none of them had piercing, golden eyes.

Subaru stood just outside of the door to his apartment only fifteen minutes later. He could hear Hokuto-chan's voice chatting on endlessly from within, but it was the masculine voice that answered her that caused Subaru's blood to turn cold. For a brief moment, he thought about dashing outside again, but he knew this would be useless the moment that he heard Seishirou say, "Hokuto-chan, I think there's someone at the door. Maybe you should go answer it."

Footsteps move towards him. Then the doorknob turned. There was nothing to do now but face the inevitable.

"Hello Subaru! I'm glad that you've finally returned home. Sei-chan's missed you soooo much," Hokuto said merrily as she pulled him into the living room by the arm. Before Subaru had a chance to fully grasp what was going on, he found himself standing right in front of the Sakurazukamori. Knowing what he was and what he'd done hadn't made appear any different outwardly than he had before. He still smiled the same way that he had before, and the half eaten donut in his hand only increased the feeling of familiarity. Yet underneath that he could sense that there was something very wrong about the man in front of him. The

Sakurazukamori shouldn't smile like a child or eat donuts.

"Your job must have been extremely difficult to have kept you so late. I hope that everything went alright Subaru-kun," the man said in his usual gentle tone.

Subaru found himself at a complete loss for words.

"Subaru-kun, you look frightened. Have you been crying?" the man asked, rising from his seat. Subaru was afraid that he would walk over to him, but he stayed where he was, waiting for him to approach him.

Subaru stayed in place.

"I-I'm fine," he whispered. "Everything's fine."

"Are you sure? Is there something that you want to say to me?"

"No. There's nothing."

"Do you feel bad about leaving me all alone this morning to go to a job that neither your sister nor I even knew about?" he asked, taking a step towards him.

Subaru stepped back.

"Erm... well... I didn't... I'm sorry..."

"You don't need to apologize, Subaru-kun. I realize that due to the nature of your work, it isn't uncommon for you to receive phone calls in the middle of breakfast, though I am surprised that someone would be crude enough to request your presence so early in the day. Unfortunately, it seems I can't ever have you all to myself, even for a moment."

"Are you just going to stand here all day, or are you going to spend a little time with poor, lonely Sei-chan? He's been waiting for you all day, you know. He would have driven you to the place where you needed to go, if you hadn't left before telling him where you were going," Hokuto scolded, reminding him that she was there.

Subaru reluctantly sat down on a chair next to Seishirou, without touching the donut box on the coffee table. Though he didn't want to be close to Seishirou, he couldn't think of anything that would get him out of this situation. He had been even closer to Seishirou than this in the past, but during those times he had only noticed the smell of the his cologne and the cigarettes that he never smoked in his presence. Now he could distinguish another third odour. He smelled of blood.

Subaru suddenly felt the urge to vomit. He couldn't help but remember Seishirou's victims; the puppy and the little girl lying on the ground with blood pooling around their bodies and large holes through their chests. He hadn't noticed any signs of decay when he'd seen the puppy just a few hours ago. Seishirou could have killed him today while he was gone. Maybe if he'd spent the day with Seishirou, the puppy would still be alive.

"Wouldn't it be nice if you really could have Subaru all to yourself?" he heard Hokuto say to the man beside him.

"Truly, I would love that more than anything, but if I could at least spend an evening with the man I love, I would be very happy."

Seishirou's tone sounded so genuine that for a moment Subaru almost believed that the person in front of him really was just a kindly veterinarian with a sick sense of humour, but the scent of blood lingered heavily in his air. He couldn't lie to himself anymore.

"Seishirou-san, please don't say things like that," Subaru said harshly, clenching his fists in his lap. He couldn't tell that both Seishirou and Hokuto were staring at him because he was looking down at the carpet beneath his shoes.

"But, Subaru-kun, I do love you. Is that really so difficult for you to believe?" Seishirou replied predictably.

"Yes it is."

The phone rang loudly, interrupting their conversation. Subaru dashed towards it, and automatically lifted the receiver to his ear. Hokuto glared at him from the other side of the room, but Seishirou merely appeared contemplative. Perhaps his earlier remark had been unwise.

"Hello. This Sumeragi Subaru? The onmyoji?" an irked voice asked.

"Yes."

"I have a job for you."

* * *

At the time, it had seemed like a good idea to accept the job, if only to get away from Seishirou for a little while, but now he deeply regretted it. Running wasn't going to improve his situation in the long run. He would have to face the Sakurazukamori again when he came to pick him up, and when that happened, he had no idea what he was going to do.

_Could I win if I had to fight him? The Sakurazukamori must be extremely powerful, and I... What am I going to do?_

Subconsciously, Subaru lifted the fax in front of his face. He'd never enjoyed his work, but there was a familiarity about it that eased his mind. He would get this job done since he had already agreed to do it, and worry about the Sakurazukamori later.

Subaru began reading the fax slowly, making sure that he got the directions right. He was glad that the fax also included information about his job since he had completely forgotten the conversation that he'd had with his client earlier. His client was the owner of an establishment in Roppongi. He had been experiencing problems with an angry spirit for several weeks. Seishirou had dropped him off less than a block away from the place that he was supposed to go-if he remembered correctly. He'd also said that he would wait for him in the parking lot, but he'd rather not think about that if he could help it.

"You," a man cried out, startling him. It took Subaru a moment to spot the man that he thought had spoken to him amongst the rest of the crowd. He was a foreigner, so he normally would have been able to see him right away, but there were so many other foreigners here that it wasn't so easy. Though his clothing seemed to be expensive, it appeared sloppy because of the way he wore it. His shirt had been buttoned up poorly, and neither his short nor his pants seemed to fit him properly.

"Hey you!" the man cried out again. Now he was walking towards him taking quick, long strides.

"Um... yes?" Subaru asked, taking a few steps back.

The man, ignoring his obvious discomfort continued moving towards him at an even faster pace. Soon, he was standing right in front of him. Subaru was frozen in place.

"What kinda ladies ya lookin' fer t'night?" the man asked him. He waved some flyers in his face.

"Um... excuse me? W-What are you talking about?"

"Don't play dumb kid. I know exactly why yer here."

"Erm... what?"

"A young man walking alone at night in Roppongi. There's only one thing that you could be looking for, and it's got great big tits and a nice ass, right?"

Subaru's face became extremely hot. "I'm sorry... I'm not interested."

"C'mon kid. Mah ladies are the best, an' if it's money that yer worried about, I might be willin' ta give ya a discount."

"N-No thank you. I really need to get going."

"What? Yah a faggot or somethin'?"

"What! No!" Subaru cried out. He had no idea what the man was even talking about, but he didn't like his tone or his expression.

"Then what ya want is a nice lil' bitch with big-ass tits."

"No... please go away."

"What's wrong? Nancy-boy don't like the taste a pussy?"

"I-I really need to get going..."

Subaru dashed away before the man had a chance to bother him further. He tried to pay attention to street signs and anything else that might give him an idea of where he was supposed to go, but all he could see women standing nearly naked in the streets, and men with flyers trying to sell them to passer-bys. He couldn't stand looking at any of them, and yet he couldn't prevent himself from doing so. It was their eyes that bothered him the most. They all had piercing, golden eyes just like Seishirou.

Subaru started crying despite himself, but he kept on running. Out of the corner of his eye, he thought that he saw two men kissing each other in an alley, but it must have been his imagination. He tried not to look at any of the people around him any more than he already had, but it was difficult to ignore all the stares. If he could only find the address then he could get away from all of this.

Finally, he noticed a large building that seemed to stand out from the rest. He was sure that the fax had told him that the establishment would be inside a building like this one. He stopped and checked the address before glancing back at the fax. This was the place that he was looking for.

The building was much darker inside than he'd expected it to be, but there was just enough lighting to allow him to find the elevator with little difficulty. There was a large man with several tattoos on his arms standing directly in front it. He vaguely remembered that his client had said something about telling security to allow him through on the phone, but he couldn't prevent himself from shuddering at the sight of the man.

"What're ya doin' here kid?" the man asked, catching him off guard.

"I-I'm here on a job to take care of the spirit that the owner of a club downstairs has been complaining about. Please let me through." Subaru winced at the sound of his own voice. Did he always sound so pathetic?

"A kid? I'd been expectin' an old man er somethin'. Honestly, I don't wanna let ya in d'ere kiddo, but boss'd gimmie hell if I didn't. Stupid superstitious motherfucker!" Subaru eased a bit. He had to behave in a professional manner or he wouldn't be taken seriously. His grandmother had reminded him of this several times.

"Anyway, jus' be careful."

Subaru found it odd that the man seemed so concerned about him. He knew that he was young, but he was a professional.

"Thank you for your concern, but I am prepared to deal with the spirit."

The man raised an eyebrow and pointed downstairs. "Ghosts'll be da least of your worries down d'ere kid."

* * *

Subaru felt a sense of vertigo as he went down the elevator, but he did his best to continue to maintain his dignity. His grandmother constantly told him that he had to work hard to behave professionally when he was in front of his clients especially because he was so young. He couldn't let his personal issues get to him. His eyes still appeared slightly red through the mirrored walls, but he didn't think that his client was the type of person to notice.

When Subaru got out of the elevator, he found himself in a dark hallway. It wasn't difficult to find the door he was supposed to enter because there was a large, neon sign above it. The sign was written in English, and though Subaru could understand some of the language, he had no idea what the sign said. He could hear loud techno music leaking out from behind the door. Subaru tried to ignore it as he entered.

When he went inside the room he was encased in the heavy odours of cigarette smoke, sweat, and alcohol. The music had been tolerable from outside the door, but now he thought that his ears were going to bleed. There weren't really a lot of people in the room, considering what kind of place this seemed to be, but there were still far too many for his liking.

"Hey! You Sumeragi Subaru?" a man yelled at him from the other side of the room.

"Um... yes," he replied too softly to be heard.

The man walked over towards him anyways, smiling enigmatically. Though he wasn't much taller than him, and quite slender there was something about him that made Subaru feel uneasy. It was possible that it was the way that he dressed, which was definitely inappropriate, but there was something about his disposition as well. The man had a strange, predatory grace that made him think of Seishirou.

"You've never been out clubbing before, have you?" the man asked in what Subaru took to be a condescending tone.

Subaru choose to ignore it. "Were you the one who called me about the spirit before?"

The man's smile widened, but it didn't make him appear any more friendly.

"I hope that ol' Brutis didn't give you too much trouble getting in. He doesn't like letting minors in here, but he'll do whatever I tell him, so I'm sure that wasn't too much of a problem. Anyway, this place won't close for ten minutes, so why not relax until then?"

Subaru cringed when the man grabbed his hand. He reluctantly allowed him to lead him towards a small, unoccupied table in a corner of the room. No one in the room seemed to pay any attention to them at all, which only made him more uneasy.

"Sumeragi-san, please sit down," the man said. He gestured towards a padded, comfortable-looking chair. His tone sounded almost comforting, but his expression indicated that what he said had been a command not a request. Subaru complied immediately.

"I'm Johnny, the owner of this place. I've seen you on TV a couple of times, so I thought about you immediately when we started having problems."

"Oh."

"I've heard that despite your age, you are extremely skilled in your profession-even more so than your elders-so I assume that this job won't be a problem for you.

You can handle this, right?"

"Of course."

"Sumeragi-san, you seem a little uptight. Would you like something to drink? It might help you relax a little."

Subaru felt his face become hotter when he placed his hand on his thigh.

"N-No thank you, Johnny-san," he replied, trying to keep his composure. He drew away from the other man.

"You're cute," Johnny murmured almost too quietly to hear. "Very cute. It's a shame that you don't seem to realize it yourself."

Johnny moved progressively closer to him until their faces were barely an inch apart. His breath felt warm against his face, and smelled strongly of cigarettes.

Subaru wanted to push him away, but he was too terrified to move.

_This is just like that time in Tokyo Tower with Seishirou..._

"You know, this job isn't exactly urgent…" Johnny whispered in his ear, breathing heavily. His hand moved further up his thigh, until it was almost at the place where he wanted it the least.

Subaru pushed Johnny away harshly. He couldn't remember when exactly when the music had stopped or when everyone had gone away but it didn't matter. He couldn't let this person waste anymore of his time. He had a job to do.

"Please don't interrupt me right now, Johnny-san. I want to finish this quickly."

"Fine. Fine," Johnny muttered under his breath. He pulled a cigarette pack out of his pocket. Subaru immediately recognized the brand.

* * *

It was hard for Subaru to believe that the room had been overflowing with people and music only a few minutes ago, but the stillness made it easy for Subaru to detect a presence in the room that he hadn't noticed before. He attempted to clear his mind of distractions while he began uttering a relatively simple incantation, but he could feel the stress from the day's events gnawing away at the back of his mind. The barrier that he'd set up before wouldn't last long in his present state of  
mind. He would have to finish this quickly.

Suddenly, a glass mug hurled towards his face. Subaru just barely managed to dodge it. The mug crashed noisily onto the floor. Subaru couldn't help but turn to look at it. Seeing the glass mug shattered on the floor caused him to remember what the Sakurazukamori had said to him at the end of the dream.

_To break your arm like this... it's no different than breaking a glass cup._

Subaru's entire body began quivering. Tears spilled down his cheeks. His knees suddenly gave out from underneath him, causing him to tumble to the floor. Glass shards cut through his gloves to the tender flesh of his hands, but Subaru barely noticed. He just kept on crying. He didn't even turn around before a chair hit him in the back of the head, knocking him unconscious. Even if he'd seen it, he wouldn't have cared.

* * *

"Sumeragi-san..." a melancholy voice whispered just loudly enough to be heard. It was impossible to determine if the person who had spoken was male or female.

The voice was too high pitched to be a man's and to low to be a woman's.

Subaru opened his eyes to see the person who had called him, but there was only blackness all around him. The air lacked both temperature and scent, and the 'ground' if it could be called that, felt like nothing underneath his feet.

Subaru found the silence and desolation of the place comforting. It was what he'd always wished death could be like.

"Sumeragi-san…" the voice said again. It sounded closer than before. A figure appeared in front of him dressed in a plain white garment. It was still impossible to

tell if it was a women or a man. Subaru couldn't see the person's face even though he was sitting in front of him because his head was hidden behind a veil of hair.

Though Subaru couldn't hear the person crying, he had a feeling that he was all the same.

"Um… excuse me. W-Who are you?" Subaru asked in a voice that was barely a whisper. He sat down beside the person so that they would have been almost eye-level.

The person did not raise his head to look at him.

"I am Kuzuki Kakyou… a dreamseer. I am the one who showed you your past through your dreams, since he'd made you forget. I wanted to warn you about what kind of person he really is before it was too late."

Subaru remained silent. Through his profession, he was aware that dreamseers could see the future through their dreams, but he didn't know that they could see the past as well.

"...I thought that if I just showed you the truth, that you would be able to change the future on your own, but it seems that I've only made things worse."

The man began crying loudly now. Subaru gently placed his hand on the person's shoulder. He wished that he could provide more comfort, but he didn't even know why this person was so upset. "Why did you show me my past?" he asked finally.

"Because I thought that if you found out... I thought that you would kill him and change the future on your own," the person screamed, suddenly latching onto his arm. "Why? Why haven't you killed him yet?"

"I-"

"Do you have any idea what he'd going to do in the future?"

"He's going to kill me isn't he?" Subaru said calmly. "It won't be possible for me to make him feel love, so he'll kill me at the end of the bet."

The person let go of his wrist suddenly, but said nothing.

"I-I'm upset that he's lied to me all this time, and I don't like the things that he does, but if he really wants to kill me, I see no reason to resist. Many people die in the world. Why should my life be saved?"

"You're mistaken, Sumeragi-san. The Sakurazukamori isn't going to kill you," the person said mournfully. He pushed his hair back, allowing Subaru to see his face for the same time. Though the face was very androgynous judging by its length Subaru guessed it was a man.

"I've seen the future, many times. Your sister is the one who will be killed by the Sakurazukamori. If you don't do anything, she will offer her life to him so you can live."

Subaru would have asked the dreamseer what he was supposed to do if he'd had a little more time to speak to him, but before he could think of anything to say, the dreamseer had vanished leaving him alone in the dark.

* * *

Seishirou effortlessly lifted the limp body into his arms. He might have been pleased that he didn't have to use a spell to put the boy to sleep before he'd disposed of the spirit, since the spirit had already knocked the boy out cold before he'd arrived. However, he didn't like that the impact had left a rather nasty bruise on the back of his toy's head. There were a several deep scratches on his hands and forearms as well from the glass on the floor.

Initially, he had intended on disposing of the spirit quickly and efficiently, but when he'd noticed how badly his toy had been damaged, he'd decided to prolong the spirit's suffering. He had been surprised that such an insignificant thing would irritate him, but Subaru was his. No one had the right to mar his property.

Even if Subaru had suddenly decided that he didn't like him, he still belonged to him just as much as he had when he'd first found him seven years ago.

Seishirou brushed his lips against the back of Subaru's gloved hand, now bloody and torn. He enjoyed the taste of Subaru's blood. It had a sweetness like none other.

"You're mine, Subaru-kun. Nothing you can do will ever change that," he whispered, tracing the boy's lips with his fingers. He could have indulged himself in the luxury of tasting the boy's lips, but there were other things on his mind. Like Subaru's uncharacteristic behaviour throughout the past few days. At first, he'd just seemed a bit more nervous around him than usual, but now he was lying to avoid him, and then there'd been his uncharacteristic outburst before. Subaru had always shielded away from his advances, but he normally did so with weak pleas and nervous stutters. He'd never openly turned him down until today.

_"But, Subaru-kun, I do love you. Is that really so difficult for you to believe?"_

"Yes it is."

There had been a look of genuine anger and distaste on his Subaru-kun's face when he'd said that. It was hard to believe that innocent, little Subaru could feel such a thing towards anyone.

Still, it wasn't necessarily anything serious. He would just have to keep a closer eye on his little pet from now on. Maybe he would tell him what was wrong on his own if he gave him a little time.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4 - Kiss Wasted on a Boy

Subaru half-heartedly forced himself out of bed. He had no idea what time it was, but he knew that he must have slept in because the sun was already shining brightly though his bedroom window. He had no recollection of anything that had happened the day before. He couldn't even remember getting ready for bed.

Subaru took a step forward, only to stumble and fall. 'Clumsy,' he reproached himself, as he forced himself to stand on wobbly legs. His head began to ache horribly, and his entire body felt stiff.

'W-What is this? Sakanagi?' Subaru thought tiredly just as a sudden wave of nausea overcame him.

Subaru dashed awkwardly into the washroom, without bothering to close the door behind him. He knelt before the toilet and dry heaved for several minutes. If he'd eaten anything the day before, he probably would have vomited.

'What happened yesterday?...' Subaru thought tiredly. He got up arduously and staggered towards the sink. He splashed water onto his face to revive himself, but he didn't feel any better than he had before.

Subaru stumbled out of the washroom. He almost didn't see Hokuto standing at the door. She must have come to check on him since he'd made so much noise in the washroom before.

"S-Subaru... you look terrible!" Hokuto exclaimed with obvious concern. "What happened to you last night?"

"I don't remember," he said hoarsely. He doubted that Hokuto would be able to understand him.

Suddenly, the phone started ringing. Subaru turned to stare at the receiver, but he didn't move.

After the third ring, Hokuto asked, "W-Would you like me to get that, Subaru?"

"Just let it ring,"he replied weakly.

The phone rang eight more times before it stopped. Neither Subaru nor Hokuto had moved an inch.

"S-Subaru, You really should go back to bed. You look terrible." Hokuto grabbed him by the hand, and began leading him back to his bedroom. Subaru didn't protest.

Hokuto spent a great deal of time tucking him into bed. Subaru had expected her to leave afterwards, but she remained in the room with him, sitting on the edge of his bed. She was uncharacteristically silent. The expression on her face made her seem so pitiful that it was difficult to believe that she had ever been strong.

Suddenly, Subaru remembered what the dreamseer had told him before. The Sakurazukamori would kill Hokuto-chan; she would sacrifice her life so he could live.

Subaru grabbed onto Hokuto tightly and began sobbing against her chest. He didn't want his sister to leave him, ever. Hokuto-chan... He would kill the Sakurazukamori himself if he ever tried to take her away.

"Subaru... what's wrong?" his sister asked softly. She was now holding onto him as tightly as he was holding onto her.

If Subaru had been able to speak he would have begged her not to die; he would have asked her to never leave him, but all he could do was cry pathetically against her chest.

* * *

Subaru cautiously walked out of the shower, all but clinging to the tower wrapped around his waist. He knew that Hokuto wouldn't be back for at least a half hour, but he still didn't like roaming around his apartment practically naked. Normally, he would have brought a clean outfit in the washroom with him, but he for some reason he'd forgotten to this time. Hokuto had instructed him to leave all his dirty clothes outside the door before he begun showering because she'd wanted to do his laundry that day, so he'd had nothing else to wear. Subaru looked forlornly at the pile of clothing beside the washroom door. He wished that he were wearing something.

Subaru glanced around the apartment cautiously before darting into his bedroom and grabbing the first articles of clothing that he'd found lying around. Even though he knew that no one was there, Subaru made sure that his bedroom door was completely closed before he began changing. Though he hadn't seen the Sakurazukamori for several days, he could still feel him watching him always.

Even after he was dressed, Subaru still didn't feel safe. Not that he could ever feel safe knowing that the Sakurazukamori might come back at any time. He knew that he had to do something or Hokuto would die, but what could he do? Kuzuki seemed to think that he could just kill the man, but things weren't so simple. He wasn't strong enough to beat the Sakurazukamori if he confronted him, and even if did manage to defeat him there were be legal repercussions.

If he were to be truthful with himself, he didn't even want to kill the Sakurazukamori, but if that were the only way that he could save his sister, he would do it.

Subaru sat on his bed, waiting for Hokuto to return. He didn't like it when she was gone. Something could happen to her and he wouldn't be able to save her. He'd asked Hokuto if he could go with her before she'd left, but she just told him to stay in bed.

He was tired of lying around and doing nothing!

Subaru checked his watch. Hokuto should be back in less than ten minutes.

He got up off his bed abruptly and walked into the living room. He knew that Hokuto would be upset with him for getting out of bed, but he wanted to be able to see her the moment that she got back.

Subaru glanced at his watch again when he entered the living room. Eight and a half minutes. Hokuto should be back in eight and a half minutes.

Subaru scratched the back of his hand nervously. For someone who was usually as busy as he was, it felt awkward to just stand around doing nothing. Then he noticed the answering machine sitting on the end table against the wall. He hadn't checked his messages for several days. Hokuto had told him that she'd informed their grandmother of his... 'illness' but he couldn't put off work forever. Even if he still didn't feel completely better, it wouldn't hurt to check his messages to see what he'd missed. Tentatively, Subaru reached out to press the play button. The phone began ringing before he'd even touched it.

"H-Hello," he said, automatically picking up the receiver.

"Subaru-kun! You sound so healthy!" an enthusiastic voice cried out. It could only belong to one person...

"S-S-Seishirou-san!?"

"Hokuto-chan's told me that you haven't been feeling well lately. I was planning to come over and-"

Subaru hung up the phone before the man could even finish his sentence.

The phone started ringing again a few seconds later.

* * *

Seishirou was standing at his kitchen counter with a cigarette in one hand and his phone receiver in the other. He thought that he had been remarkably patient with Subaru, but now he was just getting irritated. If the boy refused to speak with him, he would just have to meet with him directly.

* * *

Suddenly, he heard someone knocking at the front door. Subaru dashed to the door threw it open automatically, expecting to find Hokuto standing behind it. And, She was there, just as he'd hoped she would be, but the Sakurazukamori wasn't supposed to be standing right beside her with his hand on her shoulder.

"What are you doing up, Subaru?" his sister scolded gently. She stepped away from the Sakurazukamori and moved closer towards him. Subaru instinctively wrapped his arms around her shoulders and buried his face in her chest, but said nothing. He couldn't see the expression on Seishirou's face.

"You're certainly much more affectionate than usual," a cheery, baritone voice said suddenly.

Subaru tightened his arms around his sister, but he refused to look at the man.

"Perhaps you'd like to give me a hug as well."

Hokuto pulled away from him suddenly. The Sakurazukamori was standing in her place.

"Wouldn't you like to give me a hug, Subaru-kun?"

"I-" Subaru stuttered, taking a step back.

He took a step forward.

"Subaru, Sei-chan hasn't seen you in days. Aren't you going to at least say 'hi' to him?" Hokuto scolded from somewhere far away.

Subaru found himself pressed against a closed door.

"You certainly have gotten pale. Are you still sick?" Seishirou asked, placing a hand on his forehead. Subaru suddenly felt cold.

"Well, he doesn't have a fever. How long have you been ill, Subaru-kun?"

"He's been sick for about three days," Hokuto answered for him.

"He's probably been inside for too long. A little air might be good for him. Perhaps we could all go to the park together." He turned to look at Hokuto after he said this, silently asking for her permission to take him away. He wasn't going to be given a choice in this matter.

"I think that you two should go alone. Subaru's probably sick of me after seeing so much of me recently," Hokuto said almost mournfully. "Besides, I think that you need to spend more time together!"

"B-But Hokuto-chan-" Subaru exclaimed, pushing away from Seishirou suddenly. He couldn't see the irritated expression on his face.

Hokuto smiled at him lackadaisically. Her smile didn't reach her eyes. "I was planning on shopping today anyway, so you should just go without me."

It couldn't have been any more obvious that she was lying. She was no better at it than he was, despite what she so often told him.

Seishirou came up from behind him suddenly, and wrapped his arms around his shoulders. "If Hokuto-chan wants to be alone that badly, lets just leave her be."

"But-"

'I don't want to be alone with you.'

"Good-bye Hokuto-chan!" Seishirou cried out, grabbing him by the arm. He led hastily him towards his car, without giving him a chance to resist further.

* * *

Subaru focused on the towering buildings outside the glass window, just so he wouldn't have to look at the man sitting beside him.

"Is something the matter? You don't seem very cheerful," the man asked, never taking his eyes off the street in front of him. His voice sounded kind and cheerful as it always did, and yet there was a strained quality to it.

Subaru turned to look at the man, but said nothing. He had no idea what to say.

"Bad dream, perhaps?" Seishirou continued as if he hadn't even noticed his lack of response.

"How did you know?" he whispered in a voice that must have been too low to be heard. He knew that it was a stupid question. Seishirou was a very observant person. If he began to behave in a way that was unusual, he would suspect that something was wrong, and it wasn't like he'd been discreet either.

"Subaru-kun, is everything alright?"

"Y-Yes. Everything's fine. I was just… thinking." His voice sounded so hoarse that it was hard to believe it was his own.

"So will you tell me what you were thinking about? Anything that can keep you so preoccupied must be very interesting. Even you normally aren't this quiet around me. Or perhaps have I done something to offend you?"

"I was thinking about the dream that I had last night. It seemed important at the time, but now I can't remember it."

"Well, I'm glad that you're not upset with me. You know that I would never want to do anything to hurt you, Subaru-kun," he replied with a nauseatingly wide grin. "Since you don't get out very often, I want you to enjoy yourself while you're here. C'mon, let's get some ice cream!"

The car stopped harshly. Subaru was literally dragged out of the vehicle and lead in the direction of an ice cream stand.

* * *

"Let's see… I'll have two scopes of chocolate, one of strawberry, three rocky road, one banana, a chocolate mint, and two chocolate chip cookie dough."

"Here you are sir," the girl behind the counter said as she handed him the cone slowly. "And what about your girlfriend?"

"WHAT?!"

"What would you like, Subaru-kun?"

"W-well I'm not very hungry…"

"Alright then! Give him the same thing as me, but add three scopes of vanilla as well please!"

"Y-yes," the girl muttered as she began scooping up the ice cream and gingerly placing it into the cone, glancing at Seishirou-san every now and then. Her lips formed the word, 'him' silently, but only Subaru noticed it.

Finally she handed him the ice cream cone without looking at him directly. "Um… here you go then…"

* * *

Subaru didn't see the young children chasing each other around the park, nor could he appreciate the lovely weather. His attention had been ensnared completely by the person standing next to him. At this moment, it was difficult to imagine that he could be a murderer. There was something about the way that the man seemed to gain so much pleasure out of something as simple as ice cream that made him seem childish and innocent. But, then he detected the faint odour of blood mingling with the scent of cherry blossoms, and he suddenly felt sick all over again.

Seishirou turned to look at him with an almost genuine look of concern. "Subaru-kun, you haven't eaten any of your ice cream yet. If you aren't feeling very well, I could take you home and tuck you in bed."

Subaru's face turned bright red. "T-T-That isn't necessary. I-I feel f-fine."

"Do you dislike me so much that you'd refuse to eat something just because I bought it for you?"

"O-Of course not!"

"Then try some."

Tentatively, Subaru licked a scoop of chocolate chip cookie dough with the tip of his tongue. It tasted bitter in his mouth.

"Subaru-kun, why are you upset with me?" Seishirou asked abruptly.

Subaru began to sweat. "I-I'm not upset with you. I just-I haven't been feeling well lately so I-"

"You know, I never thought that you were capable of lying, my Subaru-kun. You always seemed like the kind of person who would never lie, even if it meant saving his own life. But it seems that I was mistaken. That was the second time that you've lied to me."

Subaru began trembling slightly, but said nothing.

"You remember the first time don't you?" The Sakurazukamori murmured, moving closer to him. "A few days ago, I asked you out on a date since Hokuto-chan had informed me that you didn't have any work. Why did you tell me that you had a job that day?"

"Seishirou-san, please I-I…"

"There has been something bothering you lately, and you are going to tell me exactly what it is. The exorcism you performed last night should have been easy for someone with you abilities, but you-"

"That was just-"

"Why have you been avoiding me for the past few days?"

"I-"  
"Subaru-kun, when I told you that I loved you just before your last job, you said that you didn't believe me. Why do you feel that way?" Seishirou asked, stepping closer towards him.

Subaru was too terrified to move away.

"You don't need to be afraid of me," he whispered softly in his ear. "I wasn't lying to you when I said I loved you. I truly do love you, Subaru-kun. I love you."

"DON'T SAY THAT!" Subaru screamed. He didn't notice that several people were now staring in their direction.

Why did the Sakurazukamori say things like this to him? It was bad enough that he had the nerve to accuse him of lying when everything that he had ever said to him was a lie. Why did he have to pretend that he cared about him when it was now painfully obvious that he really didn't give damn if he lived or died. If Seishirou-san wanted to kill him, that was fine, but why wouldn't he just hurry up and do it already? Why did he continue to play with his mind?

"Seishirou-san, I don't want you to say that ever again," Subaru's said in an even tone. "You told me that you didn't like it when I lie to you just awhile ago, but you lie to me all the time. A-At first, I thought that you only said those weird things because you and Hokuto-chan find it amusing, but even when she's not around you don't stop. I hate it when you tease me! It's… it's not normal!"

"Is that the reason why you've been treating me so coldly?"

Subaru took a step back, but Seishirou only moved closer.

"Subaru-kun, I've told you that I love you again and again, but no matter how many times I say it, you still don't believe me. My words don't mean anything to you, do they?"

Whatever Subaru might have said next died before it reached his lips. He could no longer remember why he had been angry with the man. He knew that he couldn't trust him as he'd faked loving him so easily before, and yet there had been a hint of sorrow in his tone that had sounded so genuine that he could not deny it. Seishirou may not be able to love someone, but maybe he really wanted to…

Subaru didn't realize that Seishirou's face was barely an inch away from his own, until he felt warm breath upon his cheek. Strong arms wrapped around his waist before he could think clearly enough to move away, and mere seconds later Seishirou's lips were on his own.

Seishirou pulled away only a moment later. His expression appeared melancholy, and though he had no idea what might have upset him, he couldn't help but feel that it was his fault.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that," Seishirou said, turning away from him suddenly.

Subaru knew that he should have been angry with the man, and yet he couldn't bring himself to blame him for anything. Whatever it was that had happened between them had been his fault because he couldn't understand anything.

"I'll drive you home," Seishirou said abruptly, without looking at him.

Subaru wished he could think of something to say, but Seishirou began walking away from him before he could think of anything. Subaru followed him wordlessly from behind him.

Distantly, Subaru knew that guilt wasn't appropriate in this situation, but he couldn't bring himself to care. Everything that had happened up until now had been entirely his fault.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5 - Sayonara So Long

Absent-mindedly, Subaru reached out and touched his lips with gloved fingers. He could still remember how the Sakurazukamori's lips had felt against his own. The pressure had been so faint that he had barely been able to feel it at the time, and yet the experience had been so profound.

'_My first kiss._' Subaru thought suddenly. His face became extremely hot. Immediately, pulled his hand away from his lips and forced himself to look at the blank sheet of paper in front of him. His art teacher had been gracious enough to give him an extra day to work on his assignment since he hadn't done anything over the weekend. He would get it done today!

Subaru grabbed his pencil and pressed it lightly against the paper. He had no idea what to draw. His teacher had been remarkably vague about the assignment; he'd told him that he could draw whatever he wanted to as long as it looked good. Normally, Subaru would have just drawn an animal, since those were the things that he usually drew anyway, but now he just didn't want to. Whenever he thought about animals he remembered the puppy that the Sakurazukamori had killed lying amongst the trash staring at him with vacant, accusing eyes.

It was strange to think that that Sakurazukamori could kill something so innocent without remorse, and yet still be capable of expressing affection almost genuinely, even if there were no feelings behind his actions. Why had the Sakurazukamori kissed him yesterday? He'd spent an entire night awake wondering, and yet he still couldn't think of a reason. Nothing that the Sakurazukamori did seemed to make any sense to him. He still couldn't understand why the Sakurazukamori had started the bet with him at all. It might have been possible that had he really wanted to learn how to love someone, but maybe there was another reason.

Either way, he thought that Kuzuki's method of 'winning' the bet was wrong. Killing Seishirou was not the answer.

Kuzuki blamed the Sakurazukamori for what would happen to his sister, but really it was entirely his fault. If he weren't so weak, Hokuto wouldn't need to die in order to protect him.

"Hello Subaru!" Hokuto cried out gleefully before throwing his bedroom door open and stepping inside. "Are you finished your project yet?"

"Not quite…" he replied weakly. Subaru glanced down at the blank sheet of paper in front of him, suddenly feeling guilty. He hadn't even attempted to work on his assignment.

"Can I see what you've done so far?" Hokuto asked peering over his shoulder from behind him.

"NO!" Subaru cried out, covering the sketchpad with his arms. "Erm… I mean I'd rather you didn't. I'll let you look at it when it's finished."

"Really?"

"Yes."

"You haven't even started yet, have you?"

"No."

"And you haven't eaten since you've gotten home either."

"I don't feel like eating…"

"Don't give me that bull, Subaru! How can you expect to be able to do anything if you don't eat!"

Hokuto placed small plate on his desk, shaking her head slightly. "Eat these at least. They're only store bought cookies, so they won't be as good as mine, but they'll give you some energy so you can do something besides stare at your paper. Honestly, you'd probably die of starvation if I weren't around to take care of you."

"Thank you, Hokuto-chan," Subaru replied meekly without looking at what Hokuto had given him. He knew that he should eat something otherwise his sister would continue to worry about him, but he knew that he wouldn't be able to keep anything down, and that would only make Hokuto worry about him even more.

"Subaru, I'm not stupid. I know that you're upset about something and I want to know what it is," Hokuto said gently. She reminded him of a mother attending to a scared child.

Hokuto had always taken care of him because he was too incompetent take care of himself. She'd fed him because he didn't eat on his own. She'd dressed him because he didn't know what to wear. She would have to die for him because he couldn't face the Sakurazukamori on his own.

_But, if I learn to do things for myself from now on, Hokuto-chan won't die._

"Hokuto-chan… I know that you want to take care of me, but this is something that I have to deal with on my own. You can't keep protecting me all the time, or I'll never learn to take care of myself."

"But, Subaru-"

"Hokuto-chan, I love you. You're more important to me than anyone else, even Seishirou-san. However, I don't want you to get hurt because of me, so please try to understand. I will try to take care of myself from now on. I want you to take care of yourself too."

Hokuto walked over to him and silently placed her arms around his shoulders and held onto him tightly. Subaru rested his head upon her shoulder, and wrapped his arms around her back. Neither of them realized that Subaru was nearly sitting in her lap.

"I won't force anything out of you right now, but I hope that you will tell me what's going on eventually. You're special to me too, so please take care of yourself for me. Don't allow yourself to get hurt or die because you think that your life is less significant than someone else's. I love you. Grandmother loves you. If you ever died, both of us would be very sad. If you died, Subaru, I'd die too."

Hokuto gripped onto him more tightly. Though Subaru couldn't hear her sobbing out loud, he could see tears running down her cheeks. He wanted to turn away, but it was his fault that she was crying. He couldn't let her worry about him anymore. He had to deal with the Sakurazukamori by himself.

Suddenly the phone rang.

* * *

"Thank you for coming on such short notice," the fragile-looking woman whispered as she allowed Subaru into her home. In many ways she appeared very young, but her face looked as haggard as an old woman's.

"No problem," Subaru replied slipping out of the rather extravagant-looking jacket that his sister had made for him. Hokuto had really outdone herself with this outfit. It was literally covered in buckles and zippers, and had no pockets whatsoever. Not to mention it was extremely tight, and uncomfortable. Normally, it was easy for him to endure whatever outfit she forced him to wear, but right now it was difficult for him not to notice the way the woman was staring at him.

"You know…" the woman began hesitantly, "I wasn't expecting the Sumeragi head to be so ostentatious."

"Um y-yes well… You mentioned that you have been experiencing problems with an inugami on the phone. Can you tell me which room it's located in, and how it came to be in your home?"

"Well... You see my younger brother had been very interested in the occult while he was alive. It had seemed harmless at first... just a few books and some candles. My parents and I never suspected that anything was wrong until the family dog, Cuddles(?) went missing. We searched for him everywhere-I was afraid that someone had let him outside. Of course, the last place that we'd expected to find his body was in my brother's room. I-I'm not sure what he'd been trying to do with Cuddles… He'd cut off his head with a bamboo saw.

"Needless to say, my parents and I were very concerned. We were considering sending my brother to a therapist, but only a few days later he died as well... It looked as if something had torn him apart; there were pieces of him scattered all about the room. Afterwards, my parents and I been hearing noises coming from his room. It sounds like there's something scratching at the door.

"It's that door over there," the woman whispered weakly, pointing to an ordinary door at the end of the hallway. "Can I trust you with this?"

"Of course. I know that I don't look like much, but I've been doing this for a long time. This should only take a few hours."

"T-Thank you."

"Please stay away from this area until I'm gone. There is a possibility that the spirit could become violet."

"Alright," the woman replied quickly. She literally ran away from him and disappeared into another room.

Subaru sighed with relief as soon as the women left. He wasn't sure why, but there was something about the way that she had been looking at him that had unnerved him…

In any case, he wanted to get this job done as quickly as possible. He didn't want to be away from Hokuto for even a second longer than he needed to be.

Subaru walked quickly towards the door that the woman had pointed to earlier. He placed several barriers around it before entering. Inside, the room looked very different than he'd expected it to. Everything about it indicated that the person who had lived there had been practicing magic for quite some time. Books on the occult were scattered throughout the room, along with a wide assortment of items used in spell casting. It was obvious that the boy had been attempting to practice magic for years, and yet his family only recently discovered that there was something wrong with him.

Cautiously, Subaru picked up one of the books and briefly scanned its contents. As expected, it was full of errors, and he suspected that most of the other spell books here were the same. He doubted that any of the spells that this person had tried to perform had worked properly, and he must have suffered from sakanagi for his efforts.

But his family had probably just assumed that their son got sick frequently.

Suddenly, Subaru heard a low growling. He turned to see the transparent form of the inugami standing in the corner of the room with its tail between its legs. It was surprisingly small... it must have been just a puppy when it had been killed. It probably wouldn't take much to convince it to move on.

Subaru walked closer to the spirit and crouched down in front of it. "I'm sorry for what your owner did to you. I can't undo what's happened, but I can send you on so that you'll have a chance to live a better life. I'm sorry... I wish I could do more for you."

He reached out to scratch the puppy's head, but the puppy recoiled and bit him hard enough to draw blood.

Subaru moved away from the puppy slightly. "I-I'm sorry. I scared you didn't I? I didn't mean to."

The inugami only snarled at him in response, bearing abnormally large fangs. He was sure that the puppy's teeth had been normal-sized only a while ago.

Subaru stood and backed away from the inugami, suddenly remembering what the woman had told him before. This inugami had killed its master and torn him apart afterwards. He couldn't underestimate it otherwise it would kill him as well.

He could still remember what his sister had said to him only hours before:

_You're special to me too, so please take care of yourself for me. Don't allow yourself to get hurt or die because you think that your life is less significant than someone else's. I love you. Grandmother loves you. If you ever died, both of us would be very sad. If you died, Subaru, I'd die too."_

The idea of dying suddenly terrified him.

The inugami moved towards him, emboldened by his fear. It had become much larger than before, and its claws were nearly as large as its teeth. However, it were the eyes that scared him the most. The eyes had been golden brown before, just like Seishirou's, but now they had become piercing amber.

Subaru closed his eyes and began chanting softly. His grandmother had taught him to maintain control in any situation, and yet he had been doing so badly as of late. He couldn't afford to waste time hesitating like he had during his last job.

Distantly, he could already hear the sound of the inugami whimpering, but he forced himself to ignore it.

Only when Subaru had felt the inugami's presence leave the room entirely did he open his eyes. He thought that he would have felt guilty for causing the spirit so much pain, but he didn't feel anything at all. Even if he wanted to, he couldn't regret his actions. He had known that the spirit was malicious from the beginning. He'd just chosen to ignore it because he didn't want to believe that such a small, innocent-looking puppy could have killed a human being.

It had been the same with the Sakurazukamori. Even after he learned that the man was dangerous, he'd never fully acknowledged it because he hadn't wanted to think that someone who seemed so kind could be a bad person. But, now he knew that he couldn't afford such a luxury. He would have to be more careful around the Sakurazukamori from now on. He would watch him, and try to find a way to defeat him without killing him, but if killing the Sakurazukamori were the only way that he could save Hokuto's life, he wouldn't hesitate to do so.

* * *

_]…Only to you do I want to give this gift. Not the decoration of this love.  
Even if only the meeting was to just pass by one another and nothing happened  
Only you don't understand, though I remember certainly being next to you.  
If I hold you, this only appears as if I'm letting you g-_

Seishirou shut off the radio abruptly. He pulled yet another cigarette out of his coat pocket and lit it with an effortlessness that could only be acquired with years of experience. Though it was not unusual for him to go through a pack a day, it was not normal for him to go through an entire pack in a single morning.

It hadn't been unusual to find Subaru's apartment unlocked and empty, even early in the day, but he hadn't expected to find Hokuto lying upon Subaru's bed with tears streaming down her face. Though her eyes had been open, it had taken her several minutes to realize that he'd been standing in front of her.

Of course, once she had noticed she wiped the tears from her eyes, straightened her clothing, and greeted him properly as if nothing had happened.

The conversation that followed had been brief and unsatisfying. Hokuto had informed him that her brother was working. Seishirou had left shortly after.

Seishirou pulled into the parking lot just outside of a relatively large home. The spiritual energy radiating from within was rapidly diminishing. Subaru didn't seem to have suffered any major injuries. In fact, he appeared to be doing extremely well.

Seishirou pulled another cigarette from his coat pocket as he waited for Subaru to arrive.

* * *

Subaru sauntered out of the house without looking back at the woman standing in the doorway behind him. His head was lowered so he couldn't see his eyes properly from underneath the brim of the hat that Hokuto had most likely forced him to wear, but Seishirou could see that the boy was smiling. It wasn't the same happy smile that he was used to seeing, but an apathetic smile that appeared misplaced amongst the rest of the youth's features.

He'd been so deep in thought that he hadn't even noticed he was there until he honked his horn.

"Subaru-kun," he began in the same friendly tone that he'd always used in the boy's presence. The effort seemed pointless considering that it didn't have the desired affect on him anymore, but it had become almost habitual.

Subaru's head shot upwards. "S-Seishirou-san!"

"We haven't seen each other since our little outing in the park last week, so I thought that we could go somewhere today. You aren't busy are you?"

"W-well no, but-"

"Excellent! I've wanted to take you to Sunshine City for a while now. Come on inside, Subaru-kun!"

Subaru's head dropped to the ground again. Seishirou thought that the boy was trying to think up another excuse to avoid him, but instead he walked towards the van and took the seat beside him.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6 - Dancing in Babylon

'Why did I come here?' Subaru asked himself for what must have been the millionth time. When he'd gotten into the van with the Sakurazukamori, it had seemed like the best-and only-option. Then he'd known then that he couldn't keep avoiding the Sakurazukamori forever, but now he just wished that he could be alone with Hokuto again. Of course, like most good things, that was impossible. He had to be here to watch the Sakurazukamori, find a way to defeat him, and keep him as far away from Hokuto as possible. Otherwise, she would die, and he'd be all alone.

Still, everything had seemed so much easier before he'd been sitting beside the man, forced to endure the over-powering scents of blood and cherry blossoms that seemed to linger wherever he went. Though in a way he was grateful for the odour because otherwise he might have found himself thinking of that man as 'Seishirou-san' again.

"Subaru-kun," the man said suddenly, startling him. "You haven't said a word since you got in here. Are you feeling alright?"

The Sakurazukamori reached out and put his hand on his forehead. Subaru began to sweat.

"Well, you don't have a fever, but you've gotten very pale. Maybe I should-"

"I-I'm fine!" Subaru exclaimed suddenly. He knew that if he allowed the Sakurazukamori to finish, he would have suggested taking him home, and while it would be nice to get away from him, he couldn't let him near Hokuto.

"Really?" the man said with obvious disbelief. "But, you don't look well at all."

"I'm just a little tired "

"And what about this?" he asked, grabbing his hand abruptly.

"Oh that..." Subaru had completely forgotten about the wound on his hand. He could only vaguely remember being bitten by the inugami less than a half hour before. "I-It's nothing really. I wouldn't even call it a scratch."

"Nonsense!" The man scolded. "You're bleeding quite a bit, and that wound looks terrible. It could get infected if you don't do something about it-wait I think I have some disinfectant in here somewhere. I'll take care of that once we stop."

Subaru remained inert and said nothing as the Sakurazukamori continued holding onto him. It seemed that he had been touching him more than usual as of late, but perhaps he'd just hadn't noticed it as much before.

Once they had stopped, the Sakurazukamori began searching frantically for the disinfectant. Subaru had a feeling that the man knew exactly where it was, but chose not to comment on it.

"I knew that it was here somewhere!" the Sakurazukamori exclaimed after several minutes. He waved the bottle of disinfectant in the air as if it were some kind of trophy.

"Now let me see your hand." The man captured his hand within his own without giving him a chance to protest. Subaru reluctantly allowed the Sakurazukamori to disinfect his wound. He knew that what the man was doing was just another one of the things that he did in order to maintain his 'kind veterinarian' facade, and yet he couldn't help but wonder why he bothered. Why would anyone spend so much time taking care of a person that he didn't like just because he'd made a bet with that person several years ago?

"I hope that I'm not hurting you too much, Subaru-kun, but this will get infected if I don't do something."

"N-No. I'm fine."

"Well, I think that I've taken care of it, but please try to take better care of yourself from now on," the Sakurazukamori said once he'd finally let go of him. "It would be a shame if such beautiful hands were to get scarred."

Subaru said nothing in response.

"Anyway, I think we should get going," the man said suddenly, moving to get out of the car. "Otherwise, Sunshine 60 is going to close before we get there."

* * *

"This has always been one of my favourite places," the Sakurazukamori said cheerfully as he opened the door for Subaru and motioned for him to walk through. "I've wanted to bring you here for awhile, but you're always so busy."

Subaru barely heard his words as he stepped through the doorway, aware that the Sakurazukamori was directly behind him. "I've booked us a table in the back so that we can have a little more privacy," the man whispered softly in his ear. "I know how crowds make you uncomfortable, Subaru-kun." Subaru stiffened as the man lead him by the hand towards an isolated table in a corner.

"I apologize if this place is a little too fancy for your liking. Perhaps you're still a little too young to enjoy this sort of thing," the man said smoothly as he motioned for Subaru to take a seat.

Subaru sat down reluctantly. He wondered why the Sakurazukamori always had to be so polite around him, even though he was so much younger than he was. Perhaps he felt obligated to do so because of the bet, but it still didn't make any sense. Not that anything that the man did ever had.

"You don't need to be shy around me, Subaru-kun," the man said as he took the seat beside him. "If you really don't like it here, we can leave at any time. I could take you to Ueno Park again if you would feel more comfortable there. I'll even buy you ice cream."

"N-No thank you!" Subaru exclaimed. His face became hot as he remembered what had happened the last time that he'd been to Ueno Park with the Sakurazukamori.

"Don't worry about inconveniencing me. If you feel uncomfortable here, we'll leave immediately."

"I'm fine."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Well, I guess it wouldn't hurt to take a look at the menu first. If you find that the food is too fancy for your liking-"

"I-I'm sure that there's something here that I'll like," he said hastily grabbing the menu. He scanned its contents thoroughly for several minutes, but he couldn't find anything that he had even heard of.

"Have you decided what you would like to order?" the man said cheerfully. If he was annoyed with him for taking so much time just deciding what to eat, he didn't show it.

"N-Not yet…" Subaru replied, scanning the menu a second time. "There just so much here."

"Are you having difficulty making a decision?"

"Erm… w-well I guess t-that I was thinking of getting… rice and um… maybe some salad. I'm not very hungry today."

"I'm sorry, but you can't get rice here, and I'm not sure if you'd like any of the salads. If you want something light, I can help you find something, but I think it would do you some good if you tried to eat a little bit more. Hokuto told me that you left for work very early in the morning without having breakfast first, and I doubt that you've had anything for lunch either."

"I-I'm fine. Just a little tired really…"

"Subaru-kun, you're too thin. You're obviously not taking care of yourself properly, so you're just going to have to let me take care of you from now on. If you're still feeling tired after we finish eating, I'll take you to my apartment. I'm sure you'll find my bed very, very cozy."

"SEISHIROU-SAN!" Subaru shrieked loudly enough to cause several people at other table to turn and glare in their direction.

The Sakurazukamori chuckled softly at his expense. "Subaru-kun, you're blushing," he said joyfully.

Subaru began to sweat.

The man reached across the table and began to caress his cheek as if to apologize for embarrassing him, but it only made his face feel even warmer. Subaru shut his eyes tightly when the Sakurazukamori began brushing through his hair with his fingers. "Does it feel good?" he whispered directly in his ear so that no one else could hear him.

Subaru opened his eyes, but didn't reply. The Sakurazukamori seemed to assume this meant yes and continued what he was doing.

Subaru still had no idea why the Sakurazukamori did such things with him, which was probably the reason why they always made him so nervous. In the past, it had been so easy to dismiss anything that the Sakurazukamori had said or did that he'd considered 'perverted'. All he'd had to do was tell himself: "Seishirou-san is joking," or "Seishirou-san can't love me because we're both men," and that would have been the end of it, but now... After Seishirou had kissed him in Ueno Park, he hadn't been able to convince himself that it was just a joke anymore. It was possible that the Sakurazukamori had kissed him just to make fun of him since he meant absolutely nothing to the man, but there could be another reason…

Before the incident at Ueno Park, the Sakurazukamori had never gone very far with his advances. He'd never offered him more than a gentle caress or a few seemingly kind words, and yet each time he'd always given him the opportunity to ask for more if he'd wanted it. And each time Subaru had denied him. Perhaps the Sakurazukamori's advances were a test of some kind, but what relevance could such a test have? Though the bet itself seemed pointless to him, he was sure that the Sakurazukamori wouldn't do something for no reason. If he could discover why the Sakurazukamori had made the bet with him, and what he expected to gain from it, perhaps he could end everything without hurting anyone.

If he pushed the Sakurazukamori just a little bit, maybe he could find some answers.

"S-S-Seishirou-san, p-please stop touching me like that," were the first words that came out of his mouth when he tried to speak. He hadn't planned on saying anything like that-he hadn't really thought of what to say at all-but now he deeply regretted it. It was such a typical thing for him to say, something that wouldn't provide him with anything useful. Why did he have to be such a coward when it came to these kinds of things?

"You don't like it?" The Sakurazukamori replied predictably. He didn't stop petting him.

"T-That's not true, it's just-"

"If you like it, I see no reason to stop."

"Seishirou-san, why do you keep on doing things like this? If this is some kind of a joke, don't you think that you're taking it a little bit too far? It was bad enough when you and Hokuto-chan ganged up on me in the past, but then there was that kiss in Ueno Park…"

Subaru blushed wildly and turned to look at a rather uninteresting spot on the floor. Why had he said such things out loud?

The Sakurazukamori lifted his chin to force him to look up at him again. His expression might have appeared concerned if not for his eyes. The Sakurazukamori began caressing his face again with his free hand.

"Is that what's been bothering you all this time my Subaru-kun? You still think that I don't love you, and that all of this is just a cruel joke meant only to hurt your feelings?"

"I-"

"I apologize if what I did at Ueno Park upset you, however, it saddens me that you still refuse to believe that I love you even after what happened. Subaru-kun, I'm not going to be angry with you if you don't share my feelings, but please don't continue to deny their existence just because they make you feel uncomfortable. It wounds me deeply that you don't even think that I'm even worthy of a proper refusal."

"Seishirou-san, it's not that I… I just-" Subaru muttered uselessly, wishing that he'd never openly questioned the Sakurazukamori on his actions in Ueno Park. He knew that the man was going to use his words against him somehow, and that now that he'd spoken his thoughts aloud, there was nothing that he could say or do to escape the consequences of his actions.

"Subaru-kun, what reason do you have to believe that I'm insincere?"

"I-I… don't… really," Subaru heard himself reply. He wasn't even sure why he'd said it.

"Then promise you'll give me a chance. I really do love you, and I want you to believe me."

"I'll…I'll try."

"Wonderful," the man answered, smiling. Though his tone was very cheerful, the new intensity in his eyes made Subaru instantly regret his words.

* * *

Subaru stared down at the masses of people beneath him in the glowing city. At one time, he had loved Tokyo, but now his feelings were more complicated. Even in his innocence, he'd known that there was a darkness to the city. Here he'd encountered suicide, prostitution, rape, drug abuse, and murder. Before he'd been able to ignore all of these things, only ever seeing Tokyo's pretty lights, but now that the lights had been shut off there was nothing but darkness around him.

A hand gently squeezed his shoulder. He turned to look at the murderer standing beside him.

"The view is breathtaking, isn't it my Subaru-kun?" the man whispered softly in his ear. "Do you remember the first time that I brought you here?"

"Yes," Subaru replied turning away from the man to look down on the city again. He felt the man grip onto his shoulders tightly, but not tightly enough to hurt.

"Do you remember what I said to you that time?" the man probed further pulling him even closer into his body.

Before Subaru could answer the question, the man continued, "I'd told you that I love you, but I'm not going to demand the same feelings from you."

"S-Seishirou-san?"

"Do you feel like I'm forcing you into this, Subaru-kun? I know that I got a little eager before, but if you not interested-"

Suddenly, Subaru's pager started beeping obnoxiously. The Sakurazukamori freed him from his grasp and stepped back.

Subaru fished the pager out of his pocket and sighed with relief. It was Hokuto again, informing him about some meagre job he was supposed to do. Really, his pager couldn't have gone off at a better time. He could easily use this as an excuse to get away from the man-but if he continued to avoid him, nothing would change. And, if he didn't change the future somehow then Hokuto would die just as Kuzuki had predicted. He couldn't afford to waste any more time than he already had.

Reluctantly, Subaru turned off the pager without even reading the message Hokuto had written him. He wouldn't concern himself with work until he got home, and if the job weren't important, he wouldn't bother with it at all.

"Who was that?" the man asked, moving towards him again.

"Hokuto-chan. It's about another job."

"Well, I suppose you'd better call her then."

"I'll do it later."

The Sakurazukamori's eyes widened. "What did you say?"

"I-I'm with you right now, Seishirou-san. It would be rude to abandon you just because of work."

Suddenly, the Sakurazukamori wrapped his arms around him and pressed his lips against his own. Subaru merely froze in place, unsure of how to respond. He wasn't entirely sure why he had said the things he did a moment ago, but he hadn't thought that he would cause this kind of a reaction.

Normally, Subaru would have tried to pull away from the other man, but right now there were too many questions running through his mind:

Why was it that the Sakurazukamori did things like this with him? What kind of response did he want from him-or did he care about that at all? What did the man want from him? What had he been expecting to gain from the bet that he'd made with him seven years ago?

He remembered that in his dream the Sakurazukamori had said that he would try to love him for a year, but had he been referring to that kind of love all along?

Subaru's face became tremendously hot when Seishirou finally pulled away from him. His embarrassment towards the entire situation seemed to amuse the man greatly. He'd never seen a more genuinely looking smile on the man's face. It actually seemed to reach his eyes, but that was most likely only his imagination.

"I'm so sorry, Subaru-kun," the man said with false embarrassment. "It seems that I've lost control of myself again. I hope that you'll forgive me, but you're just too delicious to resist."

Subaru said nothing.

Seishirou must have assumed that this meant that he wasn't angry with him, so he continued:

"Well, it's getting rather late, and you do have a job. I suppose that I should take you home."

"A-Alright," Subaru whispered, hiding his face with his hat. He wasn't sure what kind of situation he had gotten himself into, but he was sure that he was going to regret it very soon.

In fact, he was beginning to regret it already.

* * *

Seishirou smiled to himself as he entered his apartment. He tossed his coat off his shoulders, letting it lie in a heap at the door. His shoes soon followed. On any other day, Seishirou would have taken the time to place his them neatly in the closet, but right then he just didn't feel like it.

It wasn't as if something were upsetting him. In fact, he was actually quite pleased with the outcome of his little game. Who would have thought that his naive, little Subaru-kun would have submitted himself to his wishes so easily?

Seishirou chuckled as he reached for the bottle of wine that he'd left on the counter before. What had ever happened to the boy's feeble excuses? Endearing as they had been, he didn't think that he would miss them.

_"Subaru-kun, what reason do you have to believe that I'm insincere?"_

"I-I… don't… really."

"Then promise you'll give me a chance. I really do love you, and I want you to believe me."

"I'll…I'll try."

He shouldn't have been too surprised, really. His Subaru-kun was so easy to manipulate. All he'd had to do was make the boy feel guilty, and he could have whatever he wanted from him.

_"I'll do it later. I'm with you right now, Seishirou-san. I can't abandon you just because of work."_

His Subaru-kun was far too kind-hearted for his own good.

Seishirou poured himself a glass of wine and lit a cigarette before stepping into the living room. He didn't bother to put the bottle of wine back where he'd found it.

'It's too bad that Subaru-kun's so shy,' Seishirou though while taking his first sip of the wine. 'It might have been more interesting if he'd tried to kiss me back.'

* * *

"Subaru-kun," Hokuto cried from the other side of the room. "Why didn't you call me?"

"I'm sorry Hokuto-chan…" Subaru replied softly, staring down at the floor.

While it wasn't uncommon for him to find Hokuto waiting for him in his apartment, it was rare for her to stay there for as long as she had. What exactly had she been doing while he was gone?

"I didn't ask for an apology, I asked you for an explanation! What took you so long and why didn't you call me?"

"I-I was … with S-Seishirou-san…" Subaru's face became very warm as he said this. He didn't want to remember how it'd felt when that man had been so close to him… touching him. Why had he allowed him to do it?

Hokuto's lips turned upwards in a mischievous grin. "Subaru, you're blushing. Did something happen?"

"W-We just had dinner and went to Tokyo Tower afterwards. I-I'm sorry. I should have called you."

"That's alright. Actually, I'm grateful that Sei-chan can manage to force you to do something other than work. It's unusual for you to do things like this. You've never been selfish."

"I'm sorry."

"Subaru, It's human to be selfish. There's nothing for you to be ashamed of," Hokuto whispered. She walked over towards him and wrapped her arms around him tightly. Though she was just as close to him as Seishirou had been before, he didn't feel the least bit nervous.

"Hokuto-chan, I meant what I said before. I love you… more than anyone else. Protect yourself for me no matter what," he said suddenly holding onto her as well. He would do anything to prevent her from being killed.

Hokuto remained silent as if she hadn't heard him. She gently ran gloved fingers through his hair. Subaru wished that she would remove her gloves because he wanted to feel her naked skin upon his scalp, but he would have to deal with what he got. He sighed softly and rested his head on her shoulder.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7 - Solid Gold

The beverage-probably intended to be sweet-tasted bitter on his tongue, but somehow he'd managed to force it down anyway.

"The food here is really delicious, isn't it Subaru-kun? You should try a piece of my chocolate chip muffin. I know you'll love it!" the man sitting across from him exclaimed cheerfully. Without even waiting for a response, he tore off a piece of his muffin and held it in front of Subaru's face.

Subaru only shook his head, refusing the food that the man had offered him. He still wasn't sure why the Sakurazukamori did things like this in public, and right now he wasn't even sure if he wanted to know. Still, it was pretty pathetic that he still couldn't figure out what it was that motivated him to do most of the things that he did, even after spending so much time with the man. Hokuto was right, he really was an airhead.

Subaru stiffened when the Sakurazukamori began to caress his face and hair. It was something that he did fairly often, so he should have gotten used to it by now. It wasn't like the Sakurazukamori meant anything behind his actions anyway. To him, touching him like this was probably just like petting a dog.

"Is something bothering you, Subaru-kun?" the man asked softly.

Subaru didn't reply, but his cheeks turned bright red.

"You know, you're really adorable… it's so easy to embarrass you. But, you would probably feel more comfortable if we went somewhere more private on Saturday."

"I'm sorry Seishirou-san, but I'm busy on Saturday…" Subaru mumbled just loudly enough to be heard.

The man chuckled softly in response, and continued to pet him.

"I suppose that can't be helped considering your work. I guess I was just being hopeful because you've had so much free time recently, but I suppose good things can't last forever."

Subaru had been turning down several smaller jobs and postponing many larger ones recently in order to spend more time with the Sakurazukamori, so it wasn't surprising that the man wasn't as accommodating towards his schedule as he had been in the past. Now, he seemed to expect him to drop everything to be with him.

"I'm really, really sorry Seishirou-san. You know that I'd spend more time with you if I could, but I received a phone call from my grandmother last night. She insisted upon seeing me during the weekend. She sounded very upset on the phone, and I can't afford to make her any angrier than I already have. I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize. This is my fault isn't it? You've been turning down work to spend more time with me. You are far too kind my Subaru-kun… putting up with an old man like me. It must be very boring for you."

"That isn't true! I enjoy spending time with you! I really do! I promise that the moment I get back from Kyoto, we can do whatever you want!" Subaru exclaimed shrilly. He couldn't let the Sakurazukamori think that he didn't like him.

"Really?"

"Of course!"

The Sakurazukamori inched towards him and planted a chaste kiss on his lips. Subaru froze as usual, not knowing how to react.

The man pulled away from him a second later. His kisses never lasted very long. Never more than just a brief brushing of the lips that could hardly even be called a kiss at all, and yet they still made him so uncomfortable. He always got the feeling that Seishirou wanted more from him than this, but he wasn't sure that he could give him what he wanted. He wasn't sure if he wanted to either.

Subaru immediately began to feel guilty for thinking this the moment that he saw the expression on Seishirou's face. He was smiling-he was always smiling-but his smiles didn't reach his eyes any more. Perhaps Seishirou really wanted to see if he could love him-maybe that's why he made the bet with him in the first place, and he was the one keeping him from learning to love because he never returned his affections.

Subaru's face began to feel hot. When had he become such a pervert?

Seishirou's laughter certainly didn't make him feel any better.

* * *

Subaru entered the dimly lit tearoom silently without bothering to so much as glance at his surroundings before kneeling on the tatami mat placed in front of his grandmother. He didn't have to look up at her to see her disapproving glare. He remembered it clearly enough from the last time that he'd seen her.

"I'm glad to see that you came since you seem to be ignoring all of your other duties as of late," Lady Sumeragi began sardonically as she prepared the tea.

Subaru remained silent as he watched the former Sumeragi head swish the chasen in the chawan. The tea ceremony was a familiar ritual that brought him a sense of boredom accompanied by an almost soothing sense of normalcy. Unfortunately, this sensation didn't last long.

"Subaru-san, why can't you look at me when I'm talking to you? It's very rude… and very unlike you. You're usually such a polite boy."

Though he never would have admitted it before, not even to himself, he found the way that his grandmother spoke to him aggravating. She would elevate him in one breath, only to needlessly remind him of the pressure forced upon him because of his powers and his position, and in the next she would deflate him by dismissing him as 'just a child'. It seemed that this time she'd decided to skip the first part just so she could have more time to take pleasure in scolding him. However, it was still rude to deliberately ignore her.

Subaru lifted his face and forced himself to look into his grandmother's eyes. For some reason, he'd expected her eyes to be cold and vacant like the Sakurazukamori's, but instead found himself looking into the eyes of a concerned human being. He wanted to lower his eyes to escape them, but she would have interpreted it as rudeness.

"Something's happened, hasn't it? You've changed since the last time that I saw you."

"I-I'm sorry Grandmother…" he mumbled almost too softly to be heard. He could feel tears threatening to pour down his cheeks but he refused to let them fall.

His grandmother offered no reply as she finished preparing the tea. This time, he didn't watch her.

"Is everything alright?" she asked finally. Her voice sounded different than it usually did. It was almost human.

Subaru said nothing. He couldn't tell her that everything was fine, but he couldn't get her involved in the Sakurazukamori's games either. If she knew about the things he'd done with the man… even if she knew of his reasons she would never be able to forgive him.

"Your gloves, Subaru-san, you haven't taken off your gloves have you?"

It was not an unusual question, one she asked him every time he visited her. Before, it had been an extremely simple question to answer, but now it caused a familiar pain to rise in his chest.

Subaru really didn't want to lie to his grandmother, but she would be devastated if she discovered the truth. Or perhaps she would be enraged that her grandson had dishonoured her family.

"No, of course not," he lied, subconsciously lowering his gaze.

He realized that his grandmother didn't believe him the moment he'd found the courage to look up at her again.

"Um… P-Please excuse me, Grandmother. I really need to get going. Goodbye," he said quickly before dashing out of the room without giving her a chance to reply. He knew that it was stupid and it was rude for him to leave so suddenly, but he didn't care. He just couldn't stand being near her any more.

* * *

It was odd to find himself enclosed in the familiar black void with only vague memories of staring vacantly outside of the train window earlier, but it was even stranger to see the familiar, fragile figure kneeling calmly before him.

Kuzuki sat much closer to him than he usually did, barely half a foot away. Subaru wanted to shift away a little, but he remained where he was.

"What exactly do you think you're doing," Kuzuki murmured softly. Subaru noticed that his fists where clenched uncharacteristically in his lap, but chose not to comment on it. "Why are you going out on dates with him?"

"I-I just… want to keep the Sakurazukamori away from Hokuto-chan," he whispered without looking him.

"Wouldn't it be better to kill him? He can't harm your sister if he's dead," the man countered in the same condescending tone that his grandmother often used whenever he'd done something that she disapproved of.

Subaru remained silent. He didn't understand why this person seemed to think that killing the Sakurazukamori would be so simple. The man was very powerful-probably a lot more powerful than he was. He didn't think that he could defeat him if he tried. Besides, there had to be a better way…

Finally he answered, "I'm sorry… I can't…" Subaru winced at the weakness of his own voice.

"That's because you're in love with him… isn't that right 'Subaru-kun'. You enjoy being near him," Kuzuki said his name in a perfect mimicry of the Sakurazukamori's tone. "You enjoy it when he kisses you… touches you… you want him to do more. Isn't that the reason why you keep coming back to him?"

"That's not true. I'm not in love with him."

"It was stupid for me to think that I could change anything. I thought that if you saw what kind of person the Sakurazukamori was you would stand up to him like you did for that puppy in the park, but I guess Hokuto isn't worth that much to you."

"That's not true!" Subaru cried. He forced himself to stare into Kuzuki's eyes for the first time during the conversation, only to discover that they were full of tears. Regardless, he continued, "I love Hokuto-chan more than anyone else!"

Kuzuki was silent. Disbelieving.

"I-I may not hate the Sakurazukamori enough to kill him, but that doesn't mean that I'm in love with him either. I just… I pity him because he can't care about anyone other than himself. I think that he might want to-that could be the reason why he'd made the bet with me-because he's lonely… At least, I always thought that he looked lonely when I saw him in my dreams. Maybe he wants to love someone, but he just doesn't know how. If I can show him how to care both Hokuto-chan and Seishirou-san will be happy. Hokuto-chan wants me to be with him, and I don't want to upset her…"

"I see…" Kuzuki murmured more to himself than to Subaru. "You really are a very kind person… just like Hokuto said. Still, that doesn't mean that there might not be another reason why you've chosen this path, Sumeragi-san. Something that you may not even be aware of yourself.

"I suppose you really were meant to be with him and even knowing won't change that… just promise me that you won't let him kill Hokuto."

"Don't worry, Kuzuki-san. I'll kill the Sakurazukamori before letting Hokuto-chan die."

* * *

There was something alien about the girl's smile. It seemed far too wide, even for a naturally cheery person like Hokuto. In some ways, it might have been less unsettling to find her weeping on Subaru's bed again, instead of standing in front of him wearing a strange outfit that he supposed was intended to resemble a flower with yellow petals for a skirt. It was outwardly cheery, like her smile, but that cheeriness hid something…

Then again, did it really matter?

The girl sat down on the comfy floor cushion beside him, placing a tray filled with sweets between them. All the while, her smile didn't fade.

"It's surprising to see that you're not with Subaru. The two of you have spent so much time together recently. You must be lonely without him to keep you company."

"Yes, I miss him already," Seishirou sighed dramatically taking a bite from the cupcake that he'd taken from the tray. "Mmm… this is delicious, Hokuto-chan, but it can't compare to your own."

"Well, I haven't felt like baking lately…" she replied far too softly. It was surprising to discover just how easy it had been to make her cheery grin shatter.

"Sei-chan, have you… done anything to my brother?"

"What do you mean by that Hokuto-chan? Is something wrong," Seishirou answered in a perfect mimicry of concern. He wrapped a comforting arm around her shoulder to add to the illusion. Predictably, she leaned into his embrace.

But there was something wrong about her reaction…

Subaru never leaned into his touches like this. Whenever he touched him, Subaru would just remain still and allow him to do whatever he wanted. But, Subaru was very shy so he probably just didn't know how to respond to his lover's affection. It wasn't like he was rejecting him.

However, it still wasn't right. Subaru belonged to him. He had no right to ignore him.

"Subaru is starting to change. Most of the time, it feels like he's gone somewhere far away from me… someplace where I can't reach him," the girl murmured in a soft tone that made her seem fragile. "He rarely speaks to me anymore, and he flatly refuses to wear any of the clothes that I make for him. You've probably noticed that already…"

Of course he had noticed Subaru's drastic new wardrobe filled with greys, blacks, and blues in place of the rainbow of colours that he used to wear. Simple turtlenecks replaced elaborate jackets, and the 'hats' had completely vanished. However, unlike Hokuto, Seishirou was completely indifferent to this change. Subaru looked marvellous in anything that he wore, and recently he was more concerned about the things that were hidden underneath his lover's clothing than what clothes he chose to wear.

"… but other times he's so clingy it's unnerving. It's like he thinks I'm going to leave him," Hokuto-chan continued ranting taking no notice of his disinterest in the conversation. Still, he had to pretend, didn't he?

"Do you blame me for this, Hokuto-chan? Subaru-kun is the vision of morality. Perhaps it's wrong for me to seduce him, no matter my feelings."

"I don't care about that! I just want him to be happy," Hokuto retorted, pulling away from him slightly and closing into herself.

A weak knocking at the door interrupted whatever reassuring words he would have provided the girl. Hokuto stood up abruptly and ran to the door, seeming to forget that he was sitting right beside her.

Subaru entered the apartment looking tired and dishevelled, but no less beautiful than he did at any other time. Perhaps the boy would look like that after they made love for the first time.

"Hokuto-chan!" the boy cried out a little too happily for his liking before he threw his arms around his sister and embraced her in a warm hug. When his sister wrapped her arms around his shoulders, Subaru moved in even closer to her. His face showed an expression of pure bliss.

He never wore such an expression during their time together.

"Hello Subaru," Hokuto replied for once sounding slightly less enthusiastic than her brother. "You're back earlier than I expected."

"I-I might have done the job a little too quickly but… I just really wanted to see you."

"Hello, Subaru-kun! I'm glad to see that you're back," Seishriou cried out startling the boy. He was pleased when he reverted back to his usual self and pulled away from his sister.

Subaru looked at Seishirou with a bewildered expression as if he could not fathom what exactly he was doing there. "S-Seishirou-san! Erm… I'm sorry. I didn't know that you were here…"

"I noticed…" he replied walking towards the boy a little too quickly. Subaru's eyes widened and he took a step back.

Seishirou wrapped his arms around the boy's waist, and pressed him gently against his chest, successfully trapping him with his body. The boy hesitantly wrapped his arms around him in return, but the action lacked enthusiasm.

"Subaru-kun, didn't you miss me while you were gone?" Seishirou asked. He wasn't aware that he sounded like a child begging for attention.

"O-Of course…"

"You remember your promise, don't you?"

"Of course I do, Seishirou-san," Subaru answered more confidently. His thin arms tightened around him. "I promised I would spend time with you after I got back from Kyoto."

"But, isn't it a little late for that," Hokuto protested sternly.

"How would you like to come to my apartment tonight, Subaru-kun? I told you that my bed is very comfortable, didn't I?"

Subaru nodded.

Seishriou wasn't sure if he was confirming that he remembered him saying that or if he was agreeing to come with him, but he didn't care. He led the boy out of the apartment, ignoring the nearly hysteric girl shouting after them.

* * *

Definitions:

Chawa – Tea Bowl  
Chasen – Bamboo Whisk


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8 - Love is Cash

"Hokuto-chan!" Subaru cried out as he entered the room and embraced his sister. Seeing Hokuto  
standing in front of him as alive as she'd been since he'd left that morning was immensely  
reassuring, and yet it wasn't enough. He needed to touch her, feel the warmth of her body, and  
hear the sound of her voice just to be sure that she wouldn't disappear.

Hokuto wrapped her arms loosely around his shoulders, but she wasn't close enough. Subaru  
tightened his hold on her in an attempt to get even closer, yet no matter how close she was to him  
they would never be close enough.

"Hello Subaru. You're back earlier than I expected," Hokuto said in her usual, cheery tone. He  
might have believed she was happy if her smile had reached her eyes.

Had she been worrying about him while he was gone?

Blushing, Subaru replied, "I-I might have done the job a little too quickly but… I just really  
wanted to see you."

"Hello Subaru-kun! I'm glad to see that you're back!" a familiar voice called out gleefully from  
the living room.

Subaru knew who had spoken even before the Sakurazukamori stepped into the kitchen with an  
atavistic smile on his face. He instinctively let go of his sister and stepped in front of her.

_Why had the Sakurazukamori been alone with Hokuto-chan?_

"Seishirou-san! Erm… I'm sorry. I didn't know that you were here…" Subaru blurted out as the  
Sakurazukamori moved closer towards him. He'd barely even realized that he'd said anything  
until the words were out of his mouth.

"I noticed," the man whispered as he continued to approach him.

Subaru took a step back, but he might as well have remained where he was because he was  
trapped in the man's arms only a moment later.

"Subaru-kun, didn't you miss me while I was gone?" The Sakurazukamori asked, clinging onto  
him tightly.

"O-Of course."

"You remember your promise, don't you?"

"Of course I do Seishirou-san," he answered, immediately recalling the foolish promise that he'd  
made with the man that morning. "I promised that I would spend some time with you after I got  
back from Kyoto."

"But isn't it a little late for that?" Hokuto protested sternly.

The Sakurazukamori just ignored her. "How would you like to come to my apartment tonight,  
Subaru-kun? I told you that my bed is very comfortable, didn't I?"

Subaru's face turned bright scarlet when he realized what the Sakurazukamori might have been  
implying, but his blush faded as quickly as it had appeared. The Sakurazukamori never meant  
anything that he said to him. It was just another one of the man's perverted jokes. Even if they  
were 'together' now, surely he wouldn't do that.

Besides, he needed to spend more time with the Sakurazukamori. Otherwise, he might get near  
Hokuto again.

Reluctantly, Subaru nodded.

The murderer smiled at him warmly and pulled him outside. Subaru could hear his sister calling  
after them, begging them to stop, but her voice sounded far away.

xxxx

Not long after they'd left Hokuto's apartment, the Sakurazukamori suddenly pressed his lips  
against his own. Subaru froze predictably; he always did this whenever the man did this sort of  
thing to him. Though Subaru mentally berated himself for his fear, a part of him knew that it was  
justified this time. This kiss wasn't just the brief, almost tender brushing of the lips that the  
Sakurazukamori normally gave him. It had been almost a minute, or at least he thought so, and  
the man gave no indication of pulling away. In fact, it seemed like he was gradually pushing  
himself even closer to him.

Subaru closed his eyes and tried to remember how he'd felt enclosed in Hokuto's loving embrace  
before, but her warmth and happiness had left him the moment that he'd heard the  
Sakurazukamori's voice. Though he desperately wanted to 'see' his sister's smiling face again,  
even if it was only within the darkness of his mind, he couldn't because he knew that it was false.  
His sister wasn't happy. She'd been weeping on the kitchen floor since he'd left and it was his  
fault. He could still hear her crying.

When he opened his eyes, he was reminded that he and the Sakurazukamori were still in the  
parking lot just outside of the apartment building, close enough that Hokuto could have seen  
them outside of the kitchen window if she only dared to look. For a moment, Subaru was  
convinced that he could see his sister watching him, but when he blinked no one was there.

Subaru lowered his eyes, but he could still 'see' his sister's face watching him through the  
window. Even when he felt the Sakurazukamori pull away from him at last, he couldn't bring  
himself to look up again.

Distantly, Subaru thought that he heard a voice whisper his name in his ear, but before he could  
reply, the Sakurazukamori began ravishing him again.

Had Hokuto really been there only moments ago, or had he only imagined it? What would she  
think of him if she saw him like this? Even if he could tell her his reasons, she would never  
forgive him for everything that he'd done.

Subaru wasn't sure why he was doing any of this. Even if he allowed the Sakurazukamori to do  
these things to him, he would never have any more importance than a glass cup in the man's  
heart, and the outcome of the bet would remain the same. Hokuto would die because he couldn't  
save her.

Subaru suddenly wanted to push the man away from him, even if his actions would cost him his  
life. If it would put an end to the mendacity that had existed between them since their unfortunate  
meeting at the station, he would gladly accept death with open arms.

However, Subaru couldn't push the man away from him because he knew that if he were to die  
Hokuto would become even more upset than she already was. The only thing that he could do  
was stand still and allow the Sakurazukamori to have his way with him. He closed his eyes and  
tried to pretend that the man wasn't invading mouth or caressing his thigh, but these touches  
caused an unnatural feeling to emerge within him. There was an uncharacteristic urgency about  
the man's actions. His touches moved progressively closer to violence, but never seemed to cross  
the line far enough to cause him physical pain.

_Why should the Sakurazukamori trouble himself to be gentle? Glass cups can't feel pain,_  
Subaru thought, fighting back tears.

Even when he felt the Sakurazukamori's hand move progressively higher up his thigh, he did  
nothing to stop it. Subaru tried to swallow the whimper that escaped from his lips when the man  
finally grasped him between his thighs. Only when he saw the Sakurazukamori smirking down at  
him did he realize that he'd become hard.

"Never forget that you're mine," he whispered before kissing him gently on the lips. The  
Sakurazukamori opened the door to the passenger side of the van abruptly and pushed him  
inside.

xxxx

The Sakurazukamori pushed Subaru up against the wall just outside the door of his apartment,  
and captured his lips once again. Subaru whimpered beneath the kiss, and closed his eyes tightly.  
He wished that he could block out the aberrant sensation that was arising within him, but the  
more that the Sakurazukamori touched him like this, the worse it became. A sardonic voice  
whispered in the back of his mind:

_"You're in love with him… isn't that right, Subaru-kun. You love it when he kisses you…  
touches you… you want him to do it more."_

"That's not true! I'm not in love with him!"

"Then why do you let him?"

"For Hokuto-chan… If I can teach the Sakurazukamori to care, Hokuto-chan will be saved, and  
Seishirou-san will be happy."

At the time, Subaru had thought that he'd meant what he'd said, but now that he could see how  
his body was reacting to the Sakurazukamori's touches he knew the truth. It was impossible to  
win the bet, he had known that from the beginning, and yet he had tried anyway because he was a  
pervert that enjoyed being touched in this sort of way. He never really cared about making  
Hokuto happy or teaching the Sakurazukamori to love. That had only been a lie that he'd told  
himself so he wouldn't have to feel guilty for being such a horrible person.

_"You know, I never thought that you were capable of lying, my Subaru-kun. You always  
seemed like the kind of person who would never lie, even if it meant saving his own life. But it  
seems that I was mistaken. That was the second time that you've lied to me."_

He hadn't been able to appreciate the humour in that statement when the Sakurazukamori had  
said that to him on the day of his first kiss. Pure... innocent... unable to lie... unable to sin... that's  
what everyone thought of him, but nothing was further from the truth.

Subaru was an expert at lying. He'd spent his entire life lying to himself; subconsciously hiding  
ugly, obvious truths from his own fragile heart just because believing in pretty lies was so much  
easier.

But, he couldn't lie to himself anymore because he could see now that the city that he'd once  
loved was really a horrible and ugly place, and the worst part of it was not the Sakurazukamori,  
but himself.

"Subaru-kun…" the Sakurazukamori whispered directly in his ear. Subaru hadn't even felt him  
nibbling on it earlier. The man cupped his chin and gently raised his face to force him to look  
directly into his eyes. "Subaru-kun, you're crying…"

"I'm sorry…" Subaru muttered softly. It was a pointless automatic response. He wasn't even sure  
what he was apologizing for.

"Don't apologize. It's my fault for pushing you too far," the Sakurazukamori answered gently.

"If it's easier, we can just pretend that this never happened. I'll drive you home. I'm sure that  
Hokuto-chan will be happy to see you again."

'I'd like that,' Subaru thought to himself, smiling subconsciously. He could still remember how  
happy and safe he'd felt within Hokuto's arms before the Sakurazukamori had arrived…

"Subaru-kun, are you alright?"

"I'm fine."

"Are you? If you're afraid I'll take you back to your beloved sister. I'm sure that she's worried  
about you anyway," the Sakurazukamori muttered, without meeting his gaze.

Subaru began to feel guilty when he noticed that Seishirou wasn't looking at him anymore.  
Maybe Seishirou didn't want to be left alone, and the thought of him leaving upset him. Maybe  
the reason why Seishirou had made the bet with him in the first place was because he was lonely.

"I-I want to stay here with you," Subaru said suddenly, without even realizing it. His face became  
hot a moment later. "I-I mean-"

"Would you really like to remain here with me for the rest of the night, Subaru-kun? If you stay  
here much longer, I won't be able to restrain myself."

Subaru remained silent for a long time. He knew exactly what Seishirou had meant, and it scared  
him, but he didn't want to leave him alone if it would make him feel sad.

Subaru looked down at the floor. "I-I'll stay."

Subaru didn't see the Sakurazukamori smile down at him as he removed his glasses. "Well then,  
you'd better not have any second thoughts," he murmured, pressing himself against his leg,  
"Because even if you beg, I won't be able to stop myself."

Without giving Subaru a moment to reconsider, the Sakurazukamori lifted him up into his arms.  
It this wasn't the first time that the man had carried him like this, but knowing that did nothing to  
ease his discomfort. Along with the awkwardness of his present position there was a sense of  
helplessness and vulnerability. Like this, he wouldn't have been able to escape from the  
Sakurazukamori even if he wanted to.

The darkness of the Sakurazukamori's apartment only increased his susceptibility. It was  
impossible for him to see anything, and yet the man ignored it as he continued to walk  
confidently onward, only pausing to open the door. The door's audible protest caused Subaru to  
flinch slightly. There was something terrifying about the sound, but the man ignored it, as he  
seemed to ignore the darkness around him.

The Sakurazukamori sighed almost too softly for him to hear before laying him down on his bed.  
Subaru vaguely recalled being here with him before, but this time the Sakurazukamori hadn't  
brought him here to comfort him.

With a flick of a switch, the room was filled with a dim light that was even less comforting than  
the darkness. Seeing the Sakurazukamori's golden eyes upon him made him cringe. It was the  
first time that he'd really looked at the man without his glasses.

"Subaru-kun," he murmured in a voice void of the gentleness that he'd become accustomed to. "I  
hope that you're not having any second thoughts about this."

Subaru froze but didn't reply. He knew that the man wasn't giving him another chance to get  
away. He was threatening him. If he were to ask to leave now, the Sakurazukamori would surely  
tear out his throat, and though this should be preferable to what the man had planned for him, he  
couldn't bring himself to ask for it.

"You don't need to be afraid," the man said cheerfully as he unbuttoned his shirt. "I promise that  
I won't hurt you. I'm always gentle with you, aren't I?"

Subaru wondered how 'gentle' fit into what they were doing as he watched the man's fingers  
unfasten the last button with morbid fascination. Though a part of him was aware of what would  
happen next, he couldn't stop himself from shivering when the man removed his shirt in one  
swift motion. He wanted to believe it was just the cool temperature of the room, but deep down  
he knew better.

"You don't agree with me, Subaru-kun? Have I ever hurt you before?"

"N-Not really, I guess…"

"Do you really love me? Do I mean more to you than anyone else?" the Sakurazukamori  
murmured before grasping Subaru's right hand firmly in his own. He lifted it towards his mouth  
and kissed the gloved surface so softly that Subaru shouldn't have been able to feel it at all, but it  
created an odd sensation within his body. Something that was similar to pain, yet not entirely  
unpleasant.

The Sakurazukamori let go of his hand abruptly. Subaru looked up at the man, expecting to see  
his usual, empty expression, but instead he appeared lost and afraid. It made Subaru feel like  
crying, but instead he just closed his eyes. He felt the man's lips press against his own softly, and  
Subaru couldn't help but think that it felt nice.

Then the Sakurazukamori began to kiss him more deeply like he had before. Subaru panicked  
and tried to pull away, but he was held firmly in place.

Was this what the Sakurazukamori wanted from him? Had this been what he'd intended to  
happen when he'd made the bet with him seven years ago? Judging by the man's actions it was  
possible, but the thought made Subaru feel so horrible that he didn't want to believe it.

Subaru whimpered when the Sakurazukamori finally pulled away from him.

"Subaru-kun, you'd better now be thinking of backing out of this," the man whispered harshly.

Subaru didn't reply.

The man ignored him and began to explore his body with his lips and fingers. Subaru closed his  
eyes tightly. He tried to suppress the moans that threatened to escape from his throat, but the  
Sakurazukamori only pushed him further and further until he couldn't hold back anymore. It was  
disgusting that a part of him actually enjoyed what the Sakurazukamori was doing to him.

Subaru shivered when he heard the sound of clothing hitting the floor. Only when he opened his  
eyes did he realize that both he and the Sakurazukamori were completely naked.

"Subaru-kun… You don't need to be afraid. I'm not going to hurt you," the man whispered from  
above.

Subaru stared up at the man, but said nothing. 'I wish that you would hurt me,' he thought  
woefully. 'This is supposed to be painful. It shouldn't feel good.'

"Or maybe you think that I'm not good-looking enough for you. I guess I don't have a very nice  
body. I've been eating too many sweets, haven't I?"

"N-No! I-I mean that isn't true at all, you-you're… not at all unattractive," Subaru heard himself  
say.

"Do you find me sexy, Subaru-kun?"

Subaru's face became extremely warm. He couldn't bring himself to say anything.

Seishirou smiled down at him.

"Don't worry. There is nothing for you to be ashamed of. Just relax and enjoy yourself, and  
always remember that you're mine."

Subaru cringed when the man touched him between his thighs.

"You don't need to be afraid, Subaru-kun. I won't do anything that will hurt you."

"B-But… Please-"

"Relax."

Subaru face became progressively warmer as the man continued touching him in that place. He  
didn't like how his body was reacting to the man's touches, or the sounds that were coming from  
his throat.

Seishirou stopped touching him suddenly, and gave him a reassuring smile.

"Subaru-kun, what's wrong?"

"I-I'm sorry…"

"You don't need to apologize. You haven't done anything wrong."

"But, I-"

"Stop feeling guilty about everything, and just enjoy this. You haven't done anything wrong."

Subaru looked up at Seishirou. He was upset with himself for disappointing him. He wanted to  
apologize to him for not being able to give him whatever it was that he wanted, but he couldn't  
have said anything even if he'd wanted to.

Seishirou stared at him for a long time; probably waiting for him to speak. Then he sighed and  
began touching him in that place again.

Subaru closed his eyes tightly, and tried to ignore the sardonic voice in the back of his mind that  
needlessly reminded him that what he was doing was wrong. He barely noticed how his body  
arched into Seishirou's touch, or the strange pressure that was rapidly building up inside of him.

He couldn't convince himself that the sensation wasn't enjoyable, or that he was doing this for  
anyone else this time. He had come here of his own free will, knowing what would happen  
because he'd wanted this.

Subaru knew that no good would ever come from this. He was only causing himself and the  
people around him to suffer so he could enjoy a single night with a man who could never love  
him. He knew that he would have to die for this, and Hokuto would suffer because of his death,  
but she would survive because she was stronger than him.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9 - Yuuzai

Though Subaru's eyes had closed, beautiful crystal-like tears poured down his cheeks. Seishirou  
reached out and brushed them away gently with the tips of his fingers, only to have fresh tears  
replace them. At one time, he'd thought that the boy appeared most beautiful when he cried. It  
had always made him appear younger and more fragile, like a beautiful porcelain doll, but right  
now it just upset him.

Subaru never cried when his sister touched him. He could still remember how the boy had  
greeted Hokuto after he'd gotten back from Kyoto; he'd clung to her so tightly that they had  
appeared to be lovers rather than twins. His Subaru had smiled at her so beautifully, so genuinely  
that every smile that he'd given him had seemed fake in comparison. Subaru should never give  
anyone such affection but him.

Seishirou caressed his prey's neck with naked fingers without getting a reaction. It was irritating  
how Subaru rarely moved into his touches. Though he would allow him to kiss him and touch  
him as much as he wanted, he never responded to his touch. Before, he'd just assumed that the  
boy was shy, or didn't know what was expected of him, but now it seemed like he'd been  
ignoring him, like he'd been thinking of someone else… maybe even his sister.

Seishirou wrapped his fingers around his prey's neck. There was still time before the conclusion  
of the bet, but perhaps he would kill the boy now. It would be wonderful to feel his wind pipe  
collapse underneath his fingers, and watch his lovely, green eyes fill with tears before he died. If  
he'd dared to think of her during their time together, the boy didn't deserve to see the next hour.

"Seishirou-san!" Subaru cried out in his sleep, surprising Seishirou enough to cause him to  
release his neck. Fresh tears began to pour down the boy's cheek. Then he started trembling.  
Seishirou pulled Subaru towards him, and caressed his face and hair. This time he didn't bother  
trying to wipe away the boy's tears.

Subaru quickly began to relax once he was in his arms, as if he had been seeking him before. The  
boy was smiling at him so peacefully now that it was difficult for Seishirou to believe that he had  
been crying just a moment before.

Though Subaru was beautiful when he cried, he appeared even lovelier when he was smiling.  
He'd never been able to appreciate his smile before because he rarely saw him smile genuinely.  
The smiles that he'd given him when he'd been awake had been forced, and oddly sad.

Seishirou smiled down at the boy briefly, though the effort seemed wasted since he couldn't even  
see him. He grasped Subaru's gloved hand tightly, causing his mark to flare to life underneath the  
thin fabric.

Subaru was his and only his. He'd belonged to him ever since he had marked him at the  
beginning of their bet. He had been the one to take his virginity. Even if the boy still gave his  
sister a little affection, she would never be able to own him so completely. Over time, he would  
make the boy forget about her entirely, and then he would belong to no one else but him.

Seishirou dropped his prey's hand abruptly and ran his fingers over his lips. He would have  
kissed them, but somehow he knew that when Subaru was like this the sensation would be no  
different than kissing a corpse.

"Why did you let me go so far with you tonight, Subaru-kun? Is it because you love me or is  
there another reason?" Seishirou asked aloud as he caressed the boy's cheek, still moist with his  
tears.

His only answer was silence.

* * *

Subaru brushed a cherry blossom gently out of his hair with a gloved hand. The glove wasn't dull  
black, like the gloves that he normally wore, but a bright yellow that seemed out of place in Ueno  
Park at night. He glanced down at himself, expecting the yellow gloves to be the only thing that  
he'd be wearing, but instead he saw a crazy yellow outfit that made him think of sunflowers.

"Yellow's such an ugly colour, isn't it?" a melancholy voice whispered from somewhere in front  
of him. "It's supposed to be cheerful, but it always makes me unhappy. I've always preferred red  
myself. It's the colour of passion and love, but it represents blood and death as well."

Subaru glanced up at the figure standing before him. Though he wasn't surprised to discover that  
someone else was here with him, he'd expected to find Seishirou instead of this other boy.  
Subaru was certain that he had met him before, probably during one of his jobs. He'd been a  
ghost then, he was almost sure of that, but now he didn't even know if the boy was dead or alive.  
He was bleeding heavily from a large wound in his chest, yet he seemed completely unaffected  
by it, as if he didn't even realize that it was there.

"K-Kudo-san," Subaru whispered, suddenly remembering the boy's name. How could he have  
forgotten the boy that he'd met on the day that he'd discovered who his beloved 'Seishirou-san'  
really was?

"It seems that I didn't make a very good impression on you when we last met," the boy said  
sadly. "You had forgotten all about me until now."

"I'm sorry-"

"Don't apologize, it's irritating. We both know that you don't really feel bad about having  
forgotten me. You just want to believe that you do so that you won't have to feel bad for being so  
careless. You know, you're a lot more like the Sakurazukamori than you realize; though you  
want to believe that you care about everyone around you, you don't really care for anyone at all,  
not even yourself.

"Tell me, Subaru, do you feel guilty for what you've done? Your actions have created a stain on  
the Sumeragi household that not even time can erase. Your Grandmother will feel nothing but  
shame towards you now, and your sister will never love you again.

"But, you don't care about them, do you? You have never cared about Hokuto-chan or your  
Grandmother!"

"T-That's not true I-"

"Again with your lies! Shut the fuck up, or tell the truth for once! You willingly agreed to have  
sex with the Sakurazukamori, another man, and despite how horrified you acted when I told you  
about what I'd done with Takashi-sensei, you enjoyed every moment of it. Why else would you  
have agreed?"

"I'd thought that Seishirou-san was lonely, and-"

"Bullshit! When are you going to stop lying to yourself and everyone around you?" Kudo  
whispered angrily as his body disappeared into the night.

Seishirou instantly appeared in his place.

Subaru wasn't surprised to see Seishirou there. In fact, it seemed like the most natural thing in  
the word. Subaru wondered if he'd ever had a dream that didn't have Seishirou in it because he  
couldn't remember any. Of course, he'd been expecting the eighteen-year-old Seishirou that he  
had always dreamed about, not the twenty-five-year-old Seishirou from the present.

"Hello, Subaru-kun. How have you been?" the Sakurazukamori said with an informality that  
seemed out of place after what had occurred between them.

Before Subaru could think of an answer, a drop of blood landed upon his cheek. He wiped it  
away in disgust, but it stained the yellow fabric of his gloves. This time he wasn't naïve enough  
to mistake the blood for rain.

Subaru looked up to see a little girl's corpse cradled above him within a cherry blossom tree's  
branches. Though he was sure that he'd never to seen her face before, her smile seemed oddly  
familiar.

"Nine years ago, you asked me if the corpse under the cherry blossom tree was in pain," the  
Sakurazukamori said suddenly, startling him. "You know, it really is in pain, but it's not because  
the cherry blossom tree drinks its blood. The corpse is in pain because it's lonely. But, don't cry,  
Subaru-kun. Soon you'll be joining the corpse, and then it won't have to be lonely anymore."

Seishirou smiled at him as he said this, but it wasn't a happy smile. It looked exactly like the  
smile on the dead girl's face. The Sakurazukamori then tore his heart from his chest, but his  
blood never stained the pretty, yellow clothes that Hokuto had made him. The clothing had  
vanished, just like Kudo had, leaving him naked and vulnerable. The semen dripping from his  
backside served to remind him of the things he'd allowed the Sakurazukamori to do to his body  
before.

Subaru remained alive long enough to see his heart, still beating, in the Sakurazukamori's hand.  
It made him feel happy in a way because he knew that Hokuto wouldn't have to die to save him  
anymore. As long as she was safe, nothing else mattered. His life was a cheap price to pay  
compared to hers.

* * *

Subaru didn't bother to look at anything or anyone as he exited the apartment building with no  
clear destination in mind, so he didn't recognize the two women gawking at him from the  
parking lot. Even if he had seen them, he wouldn't have known that they were rather frequent  
customers of the Sakurazuka Veterinary Clinic.

"Hey, isn't that the boy who keeps visiting Sakurazuka-san at the clinic?" the younger of the two  
woman asked as she watched Subaru exit from the apartment building.

"I think so… the cute kid with pretty eyes. I wonder what he's doing here?" the other woman  
answered nonchalantly as she pulled a bag of groceries out of the trunk of her car.

"B-but, Sakurazuka-san lives in that apartment building, doesn't he? Do you think that he might  
have… I mean Sakurazuka-san does seem to be unnaturally close to him."

"Don't be silly Midori-chan! That kind of thing would only happen in a yaoi manga. I'm sure  
there's a logical explanation… perhaps he's related to Sakurazuka-san."

"But they don't look alike at all!" the young girl exclaimed shrilly. Her face had turned an  
interesting shade of red. "And Sakurazuka-san always says such strange things to him, and the  
way that he looks at him-"

"Enough Midori-chan!" the other woman snapped. "Why can't you learn to butt out of other  
people's business?"

"But-"

"Here," the older woman muttered, shoving the bag of groceries into her arms. "Take these in for  
me. I'll be there in a minute."

The girl glanced once more at the strange boy quickly before she went inside. The older woman  
ignored her and pulled a pack of cigarettes out of her pocket.

* * *

Though Subaru hadn't heard the conversation, he instantly recognized the scent of the Mild  
Seven. He raised his head from the pavement, stupidly expecting to find Seishirou standing in  
front of him with the same cheery smile on his face, as if nothing unusual had happened between  
them, but there was only a vaguely familiar woman glaring at him.

"Hello Sumeragi-kun," she said casually before taking another drag on her cigarette. "What are  
you doing here at this time of night?"

Subaru didn't answer. His mind barely even registered what she'd said.

"Sakurazuka-san is a very strange person, isn't he? I'd always thought that it was odd for a man  
of his age not to have a wife or even a girlfriend, especially when he'd such a handsome,  
charming guy. I never would have thought that he was like that…" she took another drag on her  
cigarette. For the first time, Subaru noticed how much her hands were trembling.

"I hope you enjoy it when he pounds you in the butt you dirty, little faggot!" she cried out  
suddenly. "Why did you have to ruin everything for me?"

"You were in love with him, weren't you?" Subaru replied harshly. "Then you should thank me  
for preventing you from finding out what he really is. He would have made you miserable."  
Without giving her a chance to answer, Subaru ran away. He pulled the brim of his hat over his  
eyes so that she wouldn't be able to see the tears spilling down his cheeks.

_Why did you do that to me, Seishirou-san? You should have just killed me._

* * *

Subaru kept on running for a long time. He didn't stop until he realized that he had no idea  
where he was anymore. Oddly, he didn't panic; he didn't think that he cared if he ever got home  
again. Though he loved Hokuto dearly, he couldn't face her after what he'd done, and the  
Sakurazukamori... he never wanted to see him again.

Subaru wasn't angry at the man for what had happened since that had been entirely his fault.  
However, he didn't want to be reminded of the things that he had done with him ever again. He  
couldn't remember everything that had happened. The details were fuzzy at best. Not that he cared  
to know about them anyway. The things that he did remember disgusted him enough. But, the  
thing that bothered him the most was why he had agreed to such a thing in the first place.

'God, I'm such an idiot!' Subaru thought, clenching his fists at his sides.

He remained like that for several minutes; just staring at down the pavement without really seeing  
it. He knew that he couldn't stay like that forever, even if a part of him wanted to. His  
grandmother, and possibly even his sister, would be looking for him. They would try to take him  
back, and force him to live as he had before, and he couldn't do that. Not after what he'd done.

Subaru looked up and scanned the buildings around him, hoping to find one that he could  
recognize, but they all looked the same. The place where he was looked exactly like every other  
part of Tokyo. Everything was reasonably clean, and the street was completely void of litter, yet  
there was a dirtiness in everything around him, including the people that passed by him on the  
streets. Everyone seemed to be staring at him.

Subaru didn't understand why until he caught his own reflection in the window of a shop. If he'd  
know what he'd looked like before, he never would have left the Sakurazukamori's apartment, at  
least not before taking a shower. Traces of what had occurred a few hours before were visible all  
over his body. Anyone would instantly know what he'd done just by looking at him.

Subaru suddenly began to feel guilty for thinking so poorly of the people around him. He was  
much dirtier than any of them were. Subaru suddenly felt like he had to get away from everyone  
somehow. He just couldn't stand having people know about what he'd done.

He looked around frantically, hoping to find some means of escape. At first, he saw nothing, but  
then he noticed a bright yellow taxi parked just a few feet away. Subaru dashed towards it.

"Um... Erm... E-Excuse me. Could you please take me to..."Subaru began, but stopped abruptly.  
He hadn't realized that he had no idea where he wanted to go, until after he'd spoken to the taxi  
driver.

"Spit it out kid. Where do you want to go?" a grumpy-looking middle aged man answered from  
inside the cab.

Subaru didn't like the way that the man looked at him, but he thought that being inside the taxi  
and only having to deal with one person was better than being out here and having to deal with  
several. Besides, this person could take him away.

"Anywhere's fine. Just take me somewhere far away from here," Subaru said firmly. He got inside  
the cab before the driver could protest further.

"That's a strange request," the driver said raising an eyebrow. "You runnin' away from home or  
somethin'?"

Subaru looked down, suddenly feeling ashamed of himself. He knew that he was behaving in a  
way that wasn't befitting of the thirteenth head of the Sumeragi, and yet he couldn't bring himself  
to care. He couldn't redeem himself after what he'd let the Sakurazukamori do to him. All he  
could do was run away. Both Hokuto and his Grandmother would be better off without him  
anyway, and the Sakurazukamori wouldn't miss him either.

"S'all right kid. I'll drive ya anywhere as long as you got enough money ta pay me with. I don't  
care 'bout yer family issues."

"T-Thank you," Subaru said politely. He reached into his pocket and made sure that his wallet was  
there. He just hoped that he had a reasonable amount of cash with him.

The man began driving for several minutes without speaking to him again, but Subaru couldn't  
help but think that he was watching him through his rear view mirror. Nervously, he wondered  
how much money he owed the man already. He reached for his wallet and briefly scanned its  
contents. There wasn't as much in there as he'd hoped.

"Ya worried that ya don't have enough?" the man asked suddenly.

Subaru began to sweat.

"Don't worry. If ya don't got enough, there are things other than money that you can pay me with."

"W-What else could I pay you with besides money?"

"How about... your body," the man said evilly.

Subaru's face felt warm. "WHAT?"

The man began laughing. "Don't play innocent, kid. I know how people like you make money."

"H-How did you know that I was an Onmyoji?"

The man burst out laughing. "You a comedian or something? Where do ya come up with dis  
shit?"

"I-I'd like to get out now..." Subaru whispered, already reaching for the handle.

"So soon? But, we were just starting to get to know each other."

"Stop right now," Subaru said more firmly.

"Fine, but you'd better have enough cash, kid. Otherwise, I'll have ta show ya just what I was  
talkin' about before."

The taxi stopped abruptly. Subaru quickly paid the man and got out. He was glad that he had  
enough money to pay him. He didn't want to know what the man would have done to him if he  
hadn't.

Subaru began walking quickly without a clear destination in mind. He just wanted to get as far  
away from the Sakurazukamori as he could. He didn't stop until he felt to exhausted to move  
anymore, and collapsed on the ground. No one stopped to ask if he was okay, but really, he didn't  
expect anyone to.

When Subaru felt a little stronger, he forced himself to his feet. He would have resumed walking  
until he collapsed again, but then he realized that he was standing in directly front of Rainbow  
Bridge, and paused to look at it. Though he'd never actually been here before, he remembered the  
bridge from the pictures that he'd seen of it. Because the bridge had appeared strong and  
magnificent in those photographs, he never would have expected that it would look so ominous up  
close. There was a fragility about the bridge that made it appear as though it would topple over at  
any moment, and plunge into the charcoal waters beneath it.

It was that fragility that made him walk onto the bridge, wishing that it would break apart  
underneath him. Of course, he knew that his feeble weight couldn't have caused such a thing, but  
he'd still wanted to believe that it could.

Subaru walked over to the very edge of the railing and looked down into the water. It seemed to  
call out to him as a siren calls a sailor into the sea, and despite how much he had always loathed  
suicide, he couldn't help but think about how nice it would be to simply jump off the bridge and  
drown.

Subaru chuckled softly under his breath. Since when had Sumeragi Subaru, the thirteen head of  
the Sumeragi entertained thoughts of suicide?

Subconsciously, Subaru pulled off his gloves with his teeth, and threw them into the water. His  
grandmother would have been furious at him, but she would never know, so he didn't care.  
Besides, the Sakurazukamori had known him since he'd first seen him at the station, so there had  
never been a reason for him to wear them to begin with.

For a brief moment, he felt freer with the gloves gone. It was wonderful to actually feel the railing  
beneath his hand, and the coldness of the air. But, Subaru began to regret what he'd done once he  
saw the markings on the backs of his hands glowing faintly in the dark. He could now remember  
in detail what had happened between the Sakurazukamori and himself. Every one of the  
Sakurazukamori's touches had marred his skin in the same way that the pentacles marred the  
backs of his hands, but what sickened him the most was that a part of him had actually enjoyed  
the things that the man had done to him.

Subaru gripped onto the railing so firmly that his hands began to blister and his knuckles turned  
white, but he didn't care as long as he didn't cry. He wished that he was still the boy he was  
before; the boy who hadn't been able to understand any of Seishirou-san's jokes because  
everything that he'd known about sex had come from biology textbooks. He'd never believed then  
that it was possible for two men to be together in that way. He'd thought that sex was only a  
means of reproduction, and yet it had always unnerved him.

_That was the person that Hokuto-chan had loved; the shy, cute boy that knew nothing of the  
world's evils. But, he wasn't that boy anymore. Hokuto-chan would never love him again._

"I want to die," Subaru whispered to himself, staring longingly into the water. His life didn't  
matter anymore, not to anyone. Hokuto and his Grandmother would never be able to love him  
again, and the Sakurazukamori never had.

Subaru laughed sadly because he couldn't bring himself to cry. "I can't win your bet,  
Sakurazukamori-san, but that doesn't mean that I'll loose either. If I'm dead before you can reach  
me, I know that you won't be sad, but maybe it will upset you, at least a little bit. Then I'll be the  
one person who made you feel something, and either way Hokuto-chan won't have to die  
anymore."


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10 - Blue Desert

It shouldn't have felt odd for him to wake up alone. He hadn't slept with anyone since he killed  
his mother seven years ago. And yet, he couldn't help but feel that there should have been  
someone lying next to him. Subconsciously, he touched the pillow beside his own. It felt warm  
beneath the tips of his fingers, as if someone had been lying next to him only a few hours ago,  
but he was sure that he'd only imagined it. It must have been because of that ludicrous dream.

He could almost remember taking the innocent, little boy home with him, and leading him into  
his bed. He was almost certain that he'd felt the warmth of his naked flesh, and the palpitation of  
his heart. He almost believed that he'd heard his poignant cries as he'd taken him. But, it had  
been the boy's eyes that had truly added to the verisimilitude of the dream. They had appeared so  
dull that they seemed to be made of glass - so different than Subaru's vibrant, expressive eyes -  
and yet it was impossible to deny that they were his.

Seishirou began laughing out loud suddenly. To think that his naive, impossibly modest Subaru-  
kun would have ever allowed him to go so far! Those fleeting brushings of their lips that couldn't  
even be called kisses had always made the boy cringe. He doubted that Subaru would even  
remain conscious if he were to attempt any more than that.

Delicately, Seishirou ran his fingers over the pillow next to his. It had gradually become cooler  
and cooler, until there was no warmth left at all. For a moment, Seishirou was almost convinced  
that it really had been nothing more than a pleasant dream, but then he noticed a single hair lying  
on top of the pillow. It was black, almost the same shade as his own hair. If it wasn't for the  
length, Seishirou might have assumed that it was really his.

Seishirou got out of bed quickly. His sheets were stained with the boy's essence and blood.

'So it wasn't a dream,' Seishirou thought to himself, chuckling softly. But where had his little  
concubine run off to? If he was anywhere in his apartment, he would have heard him, so he must  
have returned to his own apartment while he was still asleep.

He couldn't be completely certain why Subaru had decided to leave so early - a quick glance at  
his clock told him that it was only 5:30 - but he suspected that the boy was upset about what had  
transpired between them. Really, the boy wasted so much time beating himself up over the most  
insignificant things...

Still, wouldn't be a bad idea to check on the boy. He wasn't sure how badly his actions had  
wounded his little toy. Most likely, he would be forced to erase last night from Subaru's  
memories, but if he could alleviate his mood just by talking with him, perhaps they could repeat  
last night in the future.

Seishirou smiled licentiously as he summoned his shikigami with the thought of the boy moaning  
etched deeply within his mind. It didn't take long for his shikigami to reach the window outside  
the boy's bedroom. The curtains had been graciously left opened for once, allowing him to view  
the beautiful, thin figure weeping on the mattress within. But, the figure wasn't Subaru-kun. For  
some reason, Hokuto had decided to lie in his bed.

Subaru didn't seem to be anywhere near his apartment, but he could feel the energy off in the  
distance. After several minutes, he found the boy standing on Rainbow Bridge.

Seishirou cursed softly underneath his breath, wondering why Subaru would have gone so far on  
his own so early in the day. He quickly pulled on a shirt that had been hanging off the back of a  
chair before grabbing a pair of pants off the floor. It took him a little longer to find his shoes,  
which had been left in the bedroom rather than beside the doorway, but he managed to get to his  
car less than five minutes later.

Seishirou had never understood why so many people claimed that Rainbow Bridge appeared  
'magnificent' or 'beautiful'. To him, it had always seemed just as bland as any other part of Tokyo.  
Until that moment, he'd never looked at it long enough to realize just how fragile the bridge was.  
No matter how hard it tried to hold itself up above the charcoal water beneath it, eventually it  
would fall, taking thousands of human lives with it. The crimson light of the rising sun seemed to  
paint the bridge with blood, giving the impression that the earth longed for the day when the  
bridge would fall.

Seishirou began to walk more quickly through the masses surrounding him, without bothering to  
apologize to anyone stupid enough not to get out of his way. He could barely see Subaru amongst  
the flock of tourists, but even if he couldn't have seen him, he still would have known where he  
was. His shikigami had already spotted him standing on the walkway on the north side of the  
bridge. Though he had a perfect view of Tokyo Tower from where he was standing, the boy  
didn't seem to be looking at it. Instead he was staring down into Tokyo Bay along with the  
anxious salarymen all around him.

Seishirou approached Subaru a little more quickly than he had intended, and seized him firmly by  
the shoulder. He had expected the boy to yelp in surprise and turn to face him, but he only  
continued to stare down into the water as if he didn't even know that he was there. Seishirou  
sighed and glanced downwards as well, hoping to determine why Subaru seemed to find Tokyo  
Bay so fascinating.

There was something odd about how dark the water appeared even so early in the day. It almost  
looked like ink rather than water. The waves thrashed violently against the towers supporting the  
bridge as if they were trying to break them.

"Subaru-kun, I don't know why you decided to come here, but we're leaving right now!"  
Seishirou said as he twisted Subaru around by the shoulder so that the boy was facing him.

"S-Seishirou-san, what are you doing here?" Subaru asked in a voice that was almost too high  
pitched to be comprehensible. His cheeks had turned a rather interesting shade of pink.

Seishirou grabbed the boy's wrist and pulled him towards him. He had expected to feel the rough  
leather barriers that had always encased Subaru's skin, but instead he came in contact with  
something wonderfully soft. It took a moment for him to realize that he was actually touching  
Subaru's naked hand.

Subaru tried to pull out of his grasp, but his efforts were unsuccessful. Seishirou pulled Subaru's  
hand towards his face and pressed it against his cheek. His hand was marvelously soft, void of  
any of the calluses that would have been caused from external exposure.

It was also terribly cold. Almost like the hand of a corpse.

The coldness reminded Seishirou of the inky water thrashing violently below them. The thought  
unnerved him, especially now that he was awake enough to realize that there was no wind. Not  
even a light breeze.

"You're far too cold," Seishirou murmured, loosening his hold on the boy's hand. "You've  
probably gotten sick from being out here for too long. Come on, Subaru-kun. I'll take you back  
to my apartment, and make you some tea."

Seishirou expected Subaru to just nod dumbly, and allow him to carry him away, but instead he  
pulled away from him and shook his head.

"Why won't you come with me? Why did you even come here in the first place?" Seishirou  
asked, trying very hard to maintain a concerned tone that would sound appropriate coming from  
the kind-hearted veterinarian. He stepped closer towards the boy, but he only moved back further  
until his back was pressed against the edge of the railing – the only thing that would have  
prevented Subaru from falling into Tokyo Bay.

"Subaru-kun! What are you doing?" Seishirou asked, genuinely concerned.

Subaru said nothing and smiled at him. It wasn't his familiar, sweet, innocent smile, but an  
insane smile that appeared alien when placed on the boy's gentle features. Seishirou couldn't  
help but think that it made the boy appear more like his sister than himself.

"Why do you think that I would come here? Shouldn't you be able to figure that out on your own  
after everything that you've done to me?" Subaru asked softly. His voice was eerily calm.

"I never forced you. If you'd only said that you hadn't wanted it, then I-"

"That's not what I'm talking about! I know you, Sakurazukamori! I remember!" Subaru cried out  
with an uncharacteristic pride that made his voice sound more like Hokuto's than his own.

'How could he have known?' Seishirou thought, far too stunned to noticed Subaru leaping off the  
bridge.

It only took a moment for Seishirou to regain his wits, but by then it was already too late for him  
to grab the boy. Seishirou whispered a quick spell under his breath to mask the scene from prying  
eyes. Things were already complicated enough as it was. Then he summoned his shikigami, and  
chanted a longer, slightly more complicated spell, causing it to increase dramatically in size. By  
the time it had reached the boy, it was already larger than he was.

Seishirou was only a little surprised that Subaru didn't attempt to use magic to escape him. He  
doubted that the boy could think rationally enough to use it right then. Subaru cried out when the  
shikigami dug its claws into his shoulder, but Seishirou felt no sympathy for him. Subaru  
deserved to suffer a little for causing him so much grief. He would have to do away with many of  
his patients just to rebound the sakanagi.

Despite the Subaru's struggles, his shikigami managed to fly the boy back to him easily. It  
dropped him into his arms abruptly before dissolving into the air. For a moment, Subaru simply  
appeared confused and distressed, as if he couldn't fathom what he was doing there. Even if he  
were to try to question him, he doubted that the boy would be able to explain why he had done  
what he did.

In a few seconds, Subaru began thrashing about violently in his arms. Seishirou sighed loudly,  
and cast a quick sleeping spell on him. It was hard to believe that he was usually so quiet and  
obedient.

Seishirou silently carried Subaru to his car. He didn't remove the illusion surrounding them until  
the boy was safely inside. Then he sighed for a second time that morning, and drove away,  
wishing that he had some aspirin.

Seishirou observed the boy sprawled out on the couch in front of him as he finished off the last of  
his wine. On any other morning, Subaru would have looked adorable with his hair tousled from  
sleep, and such a peaceful smile on his face, but Seishirou couldn't forget about what the boy had  
tried to do only a few hours before.

It was difficult to believe that his Subaru would have attempted such a thing, no matter the  
reason. The boy had always been unfeasibly selfless and kind-hearted. Why hadn't he thought  
about how his suicide would have affected others? His dear sister and his grandmother would  
have been tremendously upset, and the entire Sumeragi Clan would have been placed in a highly  
precarious position.

Perhaps the boy's self esteem was so low that he couldn't see how his death could touch upon  
others' lives. It had been obvious right from the beginning that Subaru-kun had almost no regard  
for himself at all. He'd never cared about his own well being enough to eat unless someone else  
forced him to, and he'd regularly worked himself to the point of sickness and exhaustion for the  
sake of others. Maybe attempting suicide wasn't quite as uncharacteristic as it had initially  
seemed. Subaru-kun had just taken yet another step on the path towards his own destruction.

Seishirou placed his empty wine glass on the coffee table before he took his last pack of Mild  
Seven out of his breast pocket. Normally, he wouldn't have smoked in the boy's presence, but he  
didn't want to leave the room right then. Subaru couldn't be left unsupervised after what had  
happened.

He still wasn't sure how Subaru could remember what had occurred during their first meeting,  
but it was possible that he had known about the bet for quite some time. On the day when Subaru  
had lied to him about being too busy to spend time with him, he'd noticed that the boy had  
seemed more fearful around him than he normally was.

Since then, Subaru had never seemed to trust him entirely, no matter how close he allowed him  
to get to him.

But, why would the head of the Sumeragi willingly agree to be the Sakurazukamori's lover?  
Wouldn't it have made more sense for Subaru to attempt to destroy him instead?

Maybe the knowledge of what he really was had been too much for naïve, little Subaru to handle,  
and it had eventually caused the boy to go mad.

It was possible that he could fix Subaru by erasing some of his memories and starting anew, but  
if he didn't even know how the boy had found out about the bet in the first place, he couldn't  
guarantee that he wouldn't find out everything all over again.

The only solution was to do away with him.

Seishirou placed the cigarette he'd been smoking in the empty wine glass on the coffee table as  
he approached the sleeping boy. For some reason, he had almost expected Subaru's eyes to open  
once he got too close to him, and felt oddly disappointed when they didn't. Even when he  
wrapped his hands around the boy's throat, his eyes still wouldn't open.

_It certainly would be boring to kill you in your sleep like this, Subaru-kun. I want you to  
watch me as you die, so that you will know that I and only I am the one who has the right to end  
your life._

Seishirou waited for Subaru's eyes to open as he released him from the sleeping spell that he'd  
placed on him earlier, but his eyes stubbornly remained closed. The boy almost looked like he  
was dead rather than asleep. Only the slight rise and fall of his chest as he breathed, and the weak  
pulse beneath his fingers proved otherwise.

Despite this, Seishirou was certain that the boy was aware of what he was doing to him, but even  
as his hand tightened around his throat, the boy would do nothing to try to save his own life.

Finally, Seishirou loosened his grip, and the boy began breathing normally again. Then  
Subaru-kun's eyes opened at last.

"Why didn't you kill me, Seishirou-san?" Subaru asked him when he was finally able to speak.  
"It'll be boring for you now… now that I know about the game that you've been playing with me  
all this time."

"One year hasn't passed yet, Subaru-kun. Why do you think that I'd kill you before then? That  
would go against the rules."

Subaru's eyes widened slightly at his words, but he didn't comment. Then he lowered his eyes  
and turned his head to the side so he was looking away from him.

It was strange that the boy would become upset because he was not going to kill him.

Seishirou removed his hand from the boy's throat and forced him to look at him again. He was  
only a little surprised to see that there were tears spilling down his cheeks.

"Do you really think that I would kill you just because you've suddenly become so eager to die?  
You're mine, Subaru-kun. You've been mine since I first laid eyes on you. You will die only  
when I want you to."

"Then… I guess I'll just have to wait until the end of the bet," Subaru whispered softly to  
himself. He sounded almost hopeful, like a child waiting for Christmas.

None of Seishirou's victims had ever been like that. Even those who had thought that they  
wanted to die had cried and begged and screamed in the end, but Subaru had done nothing when  
he thought that he was going to kill him.

The boy really was insane.

"You know," Seishirou said mockingly. "There's still a chance that I might not kill you at the end  
of the bet. Why are you so certain that you'll die?"

"You're the Sakurazukamori. You feel nothing for other people. To you, tearing my heart out  
from my chest and crushing it in your hand would be no different than breaking a glass cup.  
You'll never love anyone."

"Perhaps, but it's boring to kill someone who won't even fight to save his own life. There's a  
chance that I could find something more entertaining to do with you once our bet ends."

Subaru didn't respond to this, but the fresh tears forming in his eyes made it clear that he was  
clear that he was unhappy.

Seishirou harshly wiped away the boy's tears, but it only seemed to make him cry harder.

"You've been a very naughty boy, Subaru-kun. It's silly of you to think that I'd give you what  
you desire after pulling a stunt like that. If anything I should punish you, but I might decide to be  
more lenient if you tell me how you know about what happened between us on the first time we  
met."

Subaru paled at his words, but it was obvious that he wasn't going to give him a reply.

"So, you aren't going to tell me anything. Even though I'm asking for so little," Seishirou said in a  
calm, nearly monotonous voice as he gripped Subaru's arm painfully. "If you're aware that I'm  
the Sakurazukamori, then you should have an idea of how just easily I could hurt you. If I wanted  
to, I could break your arm as effortlessly as I could snap a twig from a tree."

"I don't care if you break my arm, Sakurazukamori," the boy replied in an uncharacteristically  
cynical tone that made his voice sound far too much like his sister's for his liking. "If I really am  
'yours' you can do whatever you like with me… I don't care. A doll wouldn't care if you tore off  
its limbs and ripped out its eyes. Besides, you can't do anything more cruel to me than you  
already have…"

"You make it sound as if it's my fault that you've suddenly begun to long for death, but in truth  
you've always been this way. You continually allow yourself to get hurt, not because you're  
afraid of hurting others, but because you enjoy causing yourself pain. You never consider how  
much you hurt the people that care about you as they watch you needlessly destroy yourself again  
and again!

"You know, you really are terribly selfish, aren't you, Subaru-kun? Placing your own masochistic  
pleasure above everyone else. "

Subaru flinched, but before he could say anything to defend himself, Seishirou continued:

"Your beloved sister... do you really care about her at all? Hokuto-chan was crying when I took  
you away, but you did not even attempt to escape from me."

"I-"

"And, when you pulled that little stunt earlier, you did not even consider how anyone else would  
feel if you died. Selfish!"

"T-That's not true! I do care about-"

"Really?" Seishirou nearly shouted without being aware of it. "I find that especially difficult to  
believe! I doubt that you would care if I were to do away with your 'precious' Hokuto-chan in  
your place at the end of the bet. I've been getting rather tired of her recently anyways-"

"NO! YOU CAN'T!" Subaru cried out, latching onto Seishirou's arm suddenly. "Please don't kill  
her. Kill me instead."

"Idiot! I already told you that I'm not interested in killing you anymore. You wouldn't do anything  
to try to stop me if I were to kill you right now, but Hokuto-chan would fight to save her life,  
which would only make it so much more enjoyable to forcibly take it from her."

"PLEASE DON'T KILL HER! PLEASE DON'T" Subaru repeated deliriously over, and over  
again, without realizing just how much he was annoying him.

Seishirou grabbed the boy by the hair and pulled his face upwards, forcing him to look directly  
into his eyes. "What would you do to spare her life?" he whispered callously, as he gently  
caressed the boy's throat.

"I-I'd do anything!" Subaru squeaked, deliciously frightened for the first time.

"Anything? Really? I'm sure there are some things I can think of that you wouldn't want to do."

"No, I-I really will do anything. I promise. Just please leave Hokuto-chan alone."

"Then tell me how you know about the bet that we made seven years ago under the cherry  
blossom trees in Ueno Park?"

"I saw what happened in a dream. I didn't want to believe it at first, but when I found the  
puppy… when I saw how it was killed… I knew that it-that it had to be you. You've never  
hidden the fact that you're knowledgeable in onmyojitsu… you even used it in front of me…  
sakanagi… you've been using the animals in your clinic for sakanagi, haven't you? No simple  
veterinarian would do that."

"It seems that I've misjudged you, Subaru-kun. You're much more intelligent than I had  
perceived you to be. To figure all that out on your own." Seishirou replied slowly, looking  
directly into the boy's eyes. Though there was some truth in what the boy had told him, it was  
obvious that there was something that he wasn't telling him. Why would Subaru have a dream  
about their first meeting? The boy was powerful, so it was possible that he could have managed  
to overcome the spell that he'd placed upon his memories on his own, but that didn't seem to be  
the case. If he'd known about what happened between them before, why would he have behaved  
the way he had?

Seishirou sighed loudly.

"I suppose you must also be much more powerful than I'd thought, as well… overcoming that  
memory spell all by yourself," Seishirou said, smiling nonchalantly. He had hoped that the boy  
would have provided him with a little more information, but instead he remained silent, staring  
him more fearfully than before.

Finally, he asked in a soft voice, "You-you aren't going to kill Hokuto-chan, are you?"

"Not if you're obedient… though I don't understand why you'd go through so much trouble for  
her."

"W-What are you going to do with me now? Since you said that you're not going to kill me…  
even though there isn't anything else that you could do with me…" Subaru inquired more loudly  
than before. He sounded terrified, and much younger than he really was.

For some reason, Seishirou was reminded of when he'd taken the boy not so long ago, and the  
thought made his pants feel more than a little bit tighter. The tears that stained the boy's cheeks  
were beginning to look delicious.

Seishirou allowed himself to give into temptation, and licked away the wonderfully salty tears  
with his tongue, however he quickly discovered that Subaru's skin was even more delectable  
than his tears and began coving his face with soft kisses.

Then Subaru whimpered.

Seishirou pulled away, feeling irritated, without really knowing why except that it had to be  
Subaru's fault. He knew that he shouldn't care about what the boy wanted. He belonged to him,  
so he should be able to taste him whenever he desired.

"I think that I'll keep you for myself from now on," Seishirou said suddenly, startling the boy  
with his words. "I certainly enjoyed what we did last night together, and I'd like to do it again."

Without warning, Seishirou lifted the boy into his arms and took him towards his bedroom as he  
had the previous night.


	11. Chapter 11

Interlude

She had known that he was dangerous from the very beginning. No simple veterinarian could use  
magic, and it certainly wasn't a coincidence that Sakurazuka was his last name. But that had not  
stopped her from encouraging Subaru to spend more time with him. Hokuto had thought that  
Sakurazuka Seishirou was someone who would become very special to her brother, and she had  
wanted Subaru to have someone special more than anything else. But, she had been wrong, and  
now Subaru would be the one who would have to suffer because of her foolish romantic  
idealism.

Subaru didn't love Seishirou. That had been obvious from the very beginning, though she hadn't  
had the courage to acknowledge it until a few hours ago. When Subaru had returned from Kyoto  
with tired eyes and tousled hair he had smiled at her genuinely, and she had never seen anything  
more beautiful, but that smile had disappeared from her brother's face when Seishirou had made  
his presence known.

At that moment, she'd realized that Subaru hadn't been spending so much time of his time with  
Seishirou because he wanted to. Seishirou had to be manipulating him somehow, though it was  
possible that he might not even be aware of it. Of course, Subaru wasn't going to tell her  
anything about what was going on between them. She'd tried to ask him about it before (in a  
playful manner since then she hadn't let herself believe that anything could be wrong), but  
Subaru had only smiled at her and told her that everything was fine. Even then, she had known  
deep down that he had been lying, but she'd convinced herself that everything would work out  
between them in the end because they were meant for each other.

In a way, it was comforting that Subaru still couldn't lie to save his life, despite how much he  
seemed to have changed. He was so much sadder now, and his bland, new wardrobe filled with  
blacks, dull-blues, and greys only made his sorrow more noticeable. She'd told him that he  
shouldn't wear such dull colours because they made his vibrant, green eyes appear so much  
duller, but he hadn't listened, and since then, they had gotten further and further away from each  
other.

Hokuto forced herself to get out of Subaru's bed, and wiped the tears from her eyes. She couldn't  
allow herself lie around and cry when her brother needed her. She had seen the way that  
Seishirou had looked at her when Subaru had been holding onto her, and afterwards in the  
parking lot...

Subconsciously, Hokuto tore her latest creation off of her body and left it in a pathetic heap on  
the floor. She didn't care if she'd damaged it or not. Really. She'd never liked it very much  
anyway.

It didn't take her long to replace her torn dress with a black turtleneck from her brother's dresser,  
and a pair of plain, blue jeans. She didn't feel bad about stealing her brother's clothing because  
she knew that he wouldn't have cared anyway. For a moment, she considered putting on a pair of  
her brother's gloves as well, just to complete the ensemble, but decided against it. A quick glance  
in the mirror in the washroom showed her that she already looked more like her brother than  
she'd ever wanted to.

Hokuto touched the handle of the door leading out of Subaru's apartment just as the phone began  
to ring. Without thinking, she picked it up, and whispered a timid, 'hello'.

"Subaru-san, this is your grandmother," the voice on the other line replied with so much austerity  
that she nearly cringed. "I've been trying to get in contact with you since you left this afternoon,  
but you never answered the phone. You left a little abruptly during our meeting, and... I'm  
concerned. Could you please tell me what has been going on? Your behavior has seemed off  
recently."

Hokuto desperately wanted tell her grandmother that she wasn't Subaru, and that her brother was  
being held captive by the Sakurazukamori. She wanted to ask her grandmother to help her save  
him, but she couldn't make a sound. Her throat was hoarse, and her tongue felt swollen, as if she  
had bitten it before, which was quite possible since she could taste blood in her mouth.

After a long pause, her grandmother finally said, "I'm going to be coming to Tokyo tomorrow  
morning to speak with you directly. I hope that you are more articulate then."

Her grandmother hung up the phone a moment later, without giving her a chance to reply.  
Hokuto couldn't help but wonder what her brother had done that would make her grandmother  
behave so rudely.

Hokuto dropped the receiver and let it dangle just above the floor before she walked out of the  
room. She barely remembered to put on some shoes before leaving the apartment; Subaru's coat  
hung forgotten in the closet despite the chill of the early morning air.

Hokuto arrived at Seishirou's apartment long before she'd expected to, but paused before  
opening the door. She wasn't sure what she would find in there anymore, and while a part of her  
hoped she'd find Seishirou and Subaru laughing over a pancake breakfast, it was difficult for her  
to believe that after what had occurred last night.

She stood there stupidly for a moment before she took a deep breath and knocked softly on the  
front door.


End file.
